


Starlit

by fionaconnix



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Canon Compliant, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Finn Needs A Hug, Force Bond (Star Wars), Gay Poe Dameron, Hux is Not Nice, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Jedi Rey, Kylo Ren Redemption, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Not Related, M/M, POV Finn (Star Wars), POV Kylo Ren, POV Rey (Star Wars), Rey Needs A Hug, Rey and Kylo Ren Bicker A Lot, Star Wars: The Last Jedi Spoilers, The Force Ships It
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-03-08 15:09:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 27,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13460835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fionaconnix/pseuds/fionaconnix
Summary: Rey and Finn are supposed to be focused on their respective goals of completing Jedi training and rebuilding the resistance, but how are they supposed to do that with Ben Solo and Poe Dameron around all the time? Canon-friendly post-TLJ fic featuring lots of reylo angst through the force bond and stormpilot pining.





	1. Chapter 1

The first night Rey spends on the _Millennium Falcon_ after the battle on Crait, after shutting the door on Ben Solo’s pleading face, she holds the broken pieces of her lightsaber and silently sobs into the thin, harsh pillow on her bunk.

Being reunited with Finn and Leia had lifted her spirits only a fraction. Earlier, as she had watched her friend take care of Rose so tenderly, she could think only of the look in Ben’s eyes as he listened to her in her hut. _You’re not alone,_ he had told her. 

When Leia had taken her hand, she thought of another person doing the same, a person whose dark eyes looked so similar. She thought of the look he gave her when she called his former lightsaber, rejecting his toxic proposal. Betrayal, sadness, and rage. How could she have ever believed he would turn so easily? She feels shame and embarrassment with how willingly she had opened up to someone who had not hours ago tried to end everything and everyone he knew mattered to her. Rey rises from her bed, laying the two pieces of the cracked saber carefully on the dampened pillow. She forces herself to take deep breaths as Luke had taught her to on Ahch-To: in through her nose, out through her mouth, reaching out to the Force, begging it to calm her spirit, as cracked as the lightsaber both her and Ben had wielded as they fought his former master’s guards. She wipes the tears off of her face, wiping her hand on her tunic before leaving the bunks. 

She finds the person she was seeking right where she had left him in the main hold, camped out next to the unconscious mechanic, Rose. He studies Rose’s face with care and calm, clearly worn out from the battle on Crait and the ensuing stress of escape, but too energized from it all to be able to find any sleep. She pulls up a chair next to him and he turns to her, giving her a hug with all the warmth and care she needs. 

“I missed you. Working for the resistance, without you there, it always felt like something was missing. “ He says. 

“I missed you too. I... I needed to find how I fit into all this. This power inside me, Finn, it scared and excited me so much. I wish I could’ve talked to you through all that time, but I needed to be alone to figure it out.”

Finn brings his eyes directly to hers. “Rey… what happened? On Ahch-To? There’s something so different about you. I know Luke is dead, and I’m sorry…”

“No, it’s not Luke.” Rey cuts in. Finn looks extremely confused at her disregard for Luke’s death. “I felt him die, through the force. I know he died with purpose. That’s not what has me…that’s not weighing me down.”

“What is it?” Finn asks earnestly.

She had planned on waiting to tell Finn about her bond with Ben, but something about this moment feels like the right time. She musters all the courage she can, preparing herself for his reaction before continuing. 

“I don’t want you to get angry. It’s about Kylo Ren.”

“Aaaaand now you have me scared.”

“Him and I…we have a bond. I don’t know if it’s always been there, or if it started after we met, but… sometimes, I see him as clear as I’m seeing you right in front of me. I can only see him, not his surroundings, or the people’s he’s with. And he can see me. I have no control over when it clicks in, and when I was on Ahch-To, Finn- I was so confused. Luke didn’t help much. He just made me more confused most of the time. And Ben, Kylo, I learned so much about him. I talked to him. He’s so much more complicated than I used to think.”

Finn is looking at her like he has no idea who the person in front of him is, so before he can speak, she goes on.

“I left Ahch-To to go to him. To convince him to leave the First Order. He took me to Snoke’s throne room. Snoke wanted him to kill me. Instead, Ben killed Snoke. He fought Snoke’s guards with me, he wanted to leave everything behind, but he still wanted to rule. And he wanted me at his side. I couldn’t do it. But I was so tempted to. In that moment, though, I thought of you, and how you’re fighting everything you left behind. And how Leia has been fighting emperors and supreme leaders for decades. So I rejected him. And it filled with him rage, and I have no idea if all those nights I talked with him changed anything at all.”

When she finishes, she takes a deep breath, fighting against the tears resurfacing in her exhale. Finn is leaning forward in his chair, face unreadable and confused, hands clasped on his legs. 

Finally, after what feels like hours, he turns to her, taking her hand in his. 

“I need you to know that this is all very, very confusing. Everything you just said is so strange that I’m wondering if I’m still sleeping in the bacta tank having a weird dream.”

At this, Rey laughs, grateful at least that her friend isn’t mad at her. 

“Are you…are you in love with…Kylo Ren?” Finn asks tentatively, sounding almost as if he can’t believe the words coming out of his own mouth.

“What? No!” Rey immediately responds. But then she thinks about how close they had been standing in the elevator on the _Supremacy,_ of his bare chest when they had spoken through the Force, how tenderly he had spoken to her, of the look in his eyes as he shoved off the last Praetorian guard, and suddenly she feels betrayed by her own emotions and extremely confused. 

“Because I’ve seen him do horrible things, Rey. When I was a stormtrooper, I watched him order the deaths of innocents. We watched him murder his own father.”

“I know. I know. But I’ve seen inside his mind. I know how much Snoke tainted it, manipulated him. And I know it doesn’t make everything he did okay. But I still care for him, as much as it hurts. And I don’t need you to be okay with it, but I can’t cut off this bond we have, no matter how much I’ve wanted to before. But I needed to talk to my friend about it or the confusion would consume me, Finn.” She says, tears streaming down her cheeks now. 

“I’ll always be here.” He responds, wrapping her in a comforting embrace as she lets her tears stream. They stay like that until she’s done crying, until her body can’t possibly let out any more tears. Rey thanks her friend for being there.

“So…tell me about her.” Rey finally says, tilting her head towards Rose. 

Finn looks over at the sleeping mechanic, devotion and warmth clear in his expression. 

“She’s stubborn, and brave, and kind. When she’s conscious, I think you’ll be fast friends. Like you and I.” He smiles at that. 

“When you and I first met, I knocked you to the ground with a staff.” Rey reminds him. 

“When Rose and I first met, she stunned me, cuffed me, and almost turned me in for desertion.” Finn replies. 

“Desertion?”

He takes a deep breath. 

“I wanted to go to Ahch-To, to you. I didn’t want you to come back to the Resistance only to walk into a trap. I didn’t even think about it being desertion.” He explains. 

Rey had forgot how pure their friendship was. Finn never wanted anything but companionship from her- and she him. The companionship she built with Ben was meaningful, and he knew a part of her no one else did, but their relationship was (and is) a constant battle for the other to join them, in some capacity. She had missed Finn so much. Not only him as a person, but this easy, no-strings-attached, beautiful friendship they had formed. 

“Are you in love with Rose?” Rey asks, returning the same question he had asked her earlier about Ben. 

“I don’t know.” He responds hesitantly. “I know she has feelings for me, but this isn’t something I was ever taught how to deal with. When I was with the First Order, we weren’t supposed to have those feelings. They weren’t acknowledged or taught about. It’s difficult to know if I’m in love with someone when I’ve never seen an example of what that looks like.” 

Rey hadn’t considered that. She often forgets just how harsh the conditions of his upbringing were. Everything in their lives has been moving so quickly that they haven’t had a good opportunity to discuss it. 

“When you’re in love with someone, from what I know…” Rey begins, cautiously. She takes a deep breath before she continues. “You think about them almost all day, every day. You dream about them at night. Around them, your heart beats fast and your hands shake. And…and you think about being with them. At least, that’s what I’ve read about it.” She finishes. 

Finn gives her a knowing look, and she thinks she can see disapproval in his eyes, but he doesn’t question what she’s “read” about love. 

“I don’t think about Rose like that. Not with that intensity. I love her like I love you, and when we met, I thought you were pretty. You are pretty.” He amends. “But I don’t want to…be with you. That’s weird.” He takes a deep breath, then continues. 

“Rose kissed me, down on Crait.”

Rey’s eyes go wide and she flashes an inquisitive look at him, urging him to go on. 

“I was glad she was alive, and angry that she didn’t let me sacrifice myself, but I don’t think I want to be with her like that. But I still love her. And I don’t want to hurt her feelings.” He finishes.

“I’m sure she’ll come to understand, Finn. As long as you’re nice to her. Don’t be mean about it. Not that I think you would be. Just a suggestion.” She says quickly. 

They look each other in the eyes, and Rey is so happy to be in the presence of her dearest friend again; so relieved that he’s taking the news of her complicated relationship with Ben in such an understanding way. She stays in the main hold with Finn for the rest of the night, finally finding sleep by leaning her head against the wall, comforted by the company of her friend.

_______________________

Hours later, Rey awakens to the distinct force signature of Ben Solo. Her eyes fly open and she’s suddenly overcome with panic and excitement, as she almost always is when the force connects them. He is in front of her, and seeing him in the hold of his father’s ship, the father he killed, feels disorienting. He’s sitting down, looking at her with an expression that’s impossible to read. 

Her breaths come in heavy and shuddering as she thinks about all the different things she could say to him, how she could aim her words to hit his spirit like a blaster to the chest. Finally, though, she decides to say nothing. She studies Ben’s face: his dark eyes, trained on her own, his defined nose, and, lastly, his lips. She had studied them in the elevator that day on the Supremacy, too. She remembers wondering how they would feel pressed against her own, and then feels shame for thinking that. 

“Rey.” He says, finally breaking the silence. She can’t tell if he says it like Ben, or like Kylo Ren. Her eyes fly back up to his. 

He draws a breath, preparing to speak when the connection flickers out, and the spot where he had been sitting before is now empty. Rey tries to ignore the thumping beat of her heart in her chest and settles her head back against the wall, but she fails to find sleep again.

___________________________

Rey makes herself busy around the Falcon, checking the ship for any maintenance problems, waltzing in and out of the cockpit, hoping Chewie doesn’t notice that she needs to distract herself however possible (to keep her thoughts from wandering back to Ben).  
Rey is in the main hold again when she hears someone rustling. She looks over, assuming Finn is turning in his sleep. He’s still exactly as she left him after the connection with Ben fizzled out and she started wandering around, but Rose’s eyes are blinking open and the mechanic is trying to sit up. Rey rushes over, smacking Finn on the chest. He abruptly sits up, shooting her an incredulous look. She gestures to the woman on the bunk, and, realizing the situation, Finn becomes solely focused on Rose. 

“Do you need anything?” 

“No. I-I think it might be a good idea if it was just me here for a little while. She gets-excited easily. I’ll tend to her.” Finn replies.  
She wanders off, allowing him to take care of his friend. 

 

“Rey?”

Rey stops in her tracks at the kind and commanding voice of Leia Organa. “Yes?”

“I understand you’re piloting the Falcon now. I wanted to discuss possible landing destinations.”  
Oh. Rey lets out a sigh of relief, grateful that Leia hasn’t brought up Ben and the _Supremacy_ yet. She knows that she’ll have to tell the general how her family lightsaber came to be cracked in half eventually, but after the extremely hectic last day, Rey doesn’t have the energy for that conversation.

“We should be safe for now. Finn told me they were tracking you at lightspeed on the cruiser, but we should be safe on the _Falcon._ It was with me and Chewie on Ahch-To, and they never found us. Where do you suggest we land?”

Leia takes a breath before responding. “Well, it seems none of our laserbrain so-called _‘allies’_ are responding to our pleas. I think we land in a remote outer rim planet the First Order won’t find us till we make a plan for how to rebuild the resistance, pick a planet to set up a new base.”

Rey wonders how such a short, petite woman can seem so intimidating. And how someone as tall and imposing as Ben Solo could possibly have come from her. 

“Alright. Do you have any suggestions? I haven’t traveled much. Just… Jakku and Ahch-To mainly.” 

“Ylenia.” Leia says decisively. “It’s a forest planet in the Nivaldan system, outer rim. Not much on it but a small Rebellion era base. It’s not big enough to serve as our main base if we get the Resistance back up to the size I’d like it at, but it’s more than enough for us.”

“Alright.” Rey responds. “Do you have the coordinates?”

“I already gave them to Chewie.” Says the former princess with a twinkle in her eye, despite the dire circumstances of the situation. 

Rey heads over to the cockpit, ready to punch the coordinates into the system and feel the solid ground of the earth on her feet again, eagerly awaiting the next chapter of this exhausting and exciting adventure. 

______________________________

The landing port on Ylenia is easy enough to locate, and Rey lands the Falcon smoothly onto the duracrete dock. Chewie groans in approval, noting that this landing went much better than their first on the rocky, unstable mountainside of Ahch-To where they had parked the _Falcon._

She makes herself busy by gathering supplies and unloading them off the ship, finding a rolling chair for Rose, and shutting down the Falcon. As she heads down the ramp and onto the planet, Rey feels a chill hit her face. The surface of Ylenia is covered in thick, green firs of varying heights. A thin layer of white snow covers the ground, and Rey is reminded of the snowy forest on Starkiller Base where she had fought Ben for the first time. Right now, though, the sky is bright and she is surrounded by the safety of her friends and the assurance that Ben Solo is lightyears away on a Star Destroyer somewhere. 

This false sense of security is broken when she turns around to help Poe Dameron unload a cart of medpacks off the _Falcon_ and sees _him_ just over the shoulder of the resistance pilot, hunched over, most likely looking at a monitor. He turns towards her as soon as he picks up on the bond, dark brown eyes studying looking her up and down. Today, though, he says nothing, waiting for her to speak first. She excuses herself from Poe, walking towards the brush of forest just off of the landing dock before she turns to Ben, preparing herself for the conversation.

“I don’t want to do this anymore. I can’t turn you. You made that _quite_ clear.” She spits out. 

“Oh? And I thought you made it quite _clear_ that unless I give up everything I’ve spent years working towards to join the resistance, you’re not interested in anything about me.”

“What else should I have wanted you to do, Ben? Did you honestly think I would want to rule another Empire with you? Did you think I’d want to be a new version of Snoke?”

“Interesting. Even after you watched me kill Snoke, you think I want to be like him. After we fought together. After everything you saw in my head.” Ben says with that same soothing tone he used when he told her to let the past die all that time ago on Ahch-To. 

“What was I supposed to think when you asked me to _RULE THE GALAXY_ with you?” She fires back at him. Somehow, she almost always ends up raising her voice at him in their conversations. 

“I don’t care how you want to go about doing it. I don’t want to be another Snoke, Rey- but I won't be like the New Republic either. They _both_ failed.“

He takes two steps towards her, and now there’s only a couple of feet of distance between them. Her entire body is humming with nerves and emotion and confusion. Their eyes are trained on each other, and he continues, 

“Let the past _die._ WE could rule however you want- but together. It’s not too late.”

“Prove to me that you’re going to be different. Prove to me you can keep yourself from spilling more blood. Prove-“ She starts choking up, finding it difficult to keep back tears and keep her emotions under control in his presence. 

“Prove anything we did meant anything” She finally finishes with resolve before turning her back on him and walking back towards her friends. She feels Ben Solo’s presence in the bond for several more minutes, but decisively ignores it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I've got a few chapters written already and I'm planning on updating this fic once a week. Come hang out with me on tumblr, my url is fionaconnix :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2! Ben Solo thinks about how he can get back in his favorite Jedi lady's good graces, Finn navigates flirting for the first time, and Rey takes up a new hobby.

Kylo Ren watches Rey for as long as the force will allow him to, remaining in tune to her breathing. He watches the girl to whom he’d offered everything he had, only for her to turn on him. He had torn his heart out of his chest and offered it to her, and she had met it by calling a lightsaber and abandoning him as he lay unconscious. It’s been perhaps a day since the battle on Crait- not nearly enough time for him to process everything Rey did to him. His encounter with Skywalker. The brutal reminder of what his father’s death had done to his soul. 

At first, he’d simply wanted to burn everything to the ground. If he couldn’t have Rey by his side, then the Resistance couldn’t have her either. 

He had fought beside her. He knew her strength and courage would be an invaluable asset to the Resistance. A Jedi with controlled power like hers and clear purpose would be unstoppable. If she could hold her own against a team of elite guards, if she could defeat the Supreme Leader of the First Order in single combat, she couldn’t be stopped. He must convince her to join him. 

And if she did join him…what would that look like? Where would they go? 

He would still leave behind everything for her, if she wanted him to. If she would leave everything behind for him, too. He knows that despite her conflicted feelings towards him right now, she still cares for him. He could see it in her eyes. He just needs to convince her he’s not a monster (Not anymore. She changed that.)

He rises from his desk, shutting down his personal computer before exiting his chambers, heading towards the bridge of the _Finalizer._

“General Hux.” He addresses the redhead with his most commanding and intimidating voice. For a brief moment, he considers how different the tone is from the sound of his own voice when he whispers to Rey in stolen conversations at night, talking about loneliness and destiny. 

“Supreme Leader. I expect you’ll want to read over the report of the events on Crait. I’ve sent it to your personal com. Supreme Leader Snoke always had official reports sent to his personal devices.” He adds cautiously.

Hux’s tone is respectful enough, and Ren doubts he’ll see any subordination from the General after asserting his dominance in the aftermath of Snoke’s death on the _Supremacy_ and Crait, but there’s still a distinguishable tone of contempt laced in his words. 

“I’ll do the same.” 

He wants to spend as little time in the presence of Hux as he can, and doing most of his work in his personal chambers would certainly aid him in doing so.

The general nods, walking off to the front of the bridge of the _Finalizer._

“One more thing.” Ren calls. 

Hux turns around, visibly irked.

“I want every file we have on the stormtrooper program.”

Ben Solo has an idea. 

______________________________________

 

The resistance soldier formerly known as FN-2187 always feels idle when he has nothing to do, but right now, having finished bringing the remainder of the supplies from the _Falcon_ into the spacious main room of the base and getting Rose settled in, he’s enjoying watching Poe Dameron interacting with his beloved droid. He can’t hear what Poe is saying to BB-8, but whatever it is, he’s saying it quite enthusiastically. Finn is often amazed by his friend’s positivity. 

He smiles he recalls one of his favorite memories. When he had woken up in the bacta suit on the resistance cruiser, knowing neither where he was or how long he had been under, Poe had been the first person he saw. _I’m so glad to see you,_ Poe had said. He hadn’t known where Rey was, or even where he was, but Poe ‘s presence had calmed him through all the confusion. He closes his eyes and brings himself back to that moment. 

_“Where’s Rey?” Finn asks solemnly._

_“She’s safe. It’s complicated, and the General knows more than I do. I’ll take you to her after, but first let’s get you some clothes, bud.”_

_Poe leads him down various polished white corridors through the cruiser, and as they pass a large window, Finn sees from the flashing blue of the environment outside that they’re travelling at lightspeed. Finally, they reach the barracks, and Finn follows Poe to what must be his bed. The pilot kneels down in front of the footlocker at the base of the bed and pulls out a simple white tunic, dark blue trousers, and-_

_Finn gives an excited laugh. “You kept it!”_

_Poe shines a triumphant smile. “Well, it came back a little damaged. The lightsaber… tore right through the back.”_

_The bacta suit had cured the wound on Finn’s back, but he feels a phantom pain at the memory of the red saber tearing his flesh._

_“But lucky for you, I figured out how to do a basic stitch. It’s not perfect, but I patched it up. For you.” Poe holds the leather jacket out to Finn, eyes shining._

_Finn takes it, running his hand along the stitches. It’s certainly not perfect needlework, and the thread he used doesn’t blend into the leather the slightest bit, but the jacket feels like a part of him now. He shrugs into it, and even though it was made for a different soldier, the jacket feels like a second skin. The thought of Poe carefully stitching the leather back together in the barracks, doing this kind thing for Finn in his free time makes Finn dearly happy. He shoots Poe a small, grateful smile._

_“Let’s go talk to General Organa.”_

He must have been quite lost in thought, because when Poe claps his hand on Finn’s shoulder, he jumps a bit. 

“You alright?”

“Yeah. Just thinking.”

“How’s Rose?” Poe asks.

“She’s doing alright. A bit disoriented. A bit restless. There’s individual quarters in base, but when I told her she should go rest I thought she might blast me based on the look she gave me. I practically had to drag her. It was a nightmare.” He adds with a shudder.

“Reminds me of some of my worst tantrums when I was a youngling. I must’ve been 6 when I wanted to go up in my mother’s A-wing by myself, which would’ve ended disastrously. I didn’t know that, obviously, but she had to drag me by my ear back to my room. Not one of my finest moments.” Poe chuckles at the memory.

Finn gives what he hopes is an understanding smile, and ponders what it would be like to have memories of your parents. He bets Rey has similar thoughts. He can’t linger on this, though, or it’ll bring back too much unresolved anger towards the First Order, and that’s not what he needs to focus on right now. Walking alongside Poe, he passes through the doors leading from the landing dock to the interior of the base. 

The Ylenia base is old, but it seems to have held up pretty well over the course of the last 30 years. The walls inside are an aged steel grey and the floor is covered by a thin layer of dust, but the bustle of the resistance powering up the teal screens of the monitors and wheeling out chairs gives the room a very _alive_ energy.  
Rey is using the force to clear the dust off of the floor, and Finn is entranced by her casual command of it, a very new phenomenon. General Organa stands at the center of the room, studying the space and speaking with Commander D’Acy. BB-8 is uploading data into computers and chirping happily. Once the room is clean and set up, resembling an active resistance base, the small band of resistance fighters gather around their general. 

“There have been other times in my life, when I’ve thought the hope was gone. Too many times. During the rebellion, watching the rise of the First Order. Crait. But you all have renewed my hope.” The General says, looking at each and every one of them. 

“Our allies are afraid of the First Order. They have no more love for them than we do. To rebuild, we’ll have to work hard, work discreetly, and never lose our spark. We’ve lost so many in this fight. Let’s not let their sacrifices be in vain. Keep your lost ones in your heart. I keep my lost ones in mine,” she adds sadly. 

“Turn to each other for strength. You are the next generation of rebels. Let’s show the First Order what the fire in our bellies will mean for them. “

“Rey, Finn. I know for a fact neither of you got any sleep on the _Falcon._ There’s individual barracks down the corridor to the east. Report back in 6 hours.” she states, nodding her head in the right direction. “Everyone else, take up a post at a monitor and we’ll go over personal schedules. Poe, I want you to come speak to me. Dismissed.”  
¬  
Finn joins up with Rey and they walk towards the barracks. 

“How long do you think we’ll be here?” Finn asks. 

“I’m not sure. Leia told me just as long until they find a planet we can set up a permanent base on. Which room is Rose’s?” she asks, gesturing toward the group of doors on either side of them. “

“Farthest down and to the left. I guess I’ll take the room next to hers.”

“Alright. Sleep well.” Rey smiles at him as he heads off, opening the sliding door that leads to his room. Finn’s never had a room of his own. When he had been a stormtrooper, he had always slept in traditional shared barracks, and the only other place he’s ever slept is on the _Millennium Falcon._ It’s small, not allowing for much more space than a bed and footlocker, but he still thinks it’ll be strange sleeping in a space empty save for himself. Instinctually, he begins to shrug off his leather jacket for sleep, but then thinks against it. Poe’s jacket always makes him feel safe, himself, and the stitching on the back reminds him of the friendship and love currently present in his life that was always missing when he had been a stormtrooper. He falls asleep with his arms wrapped around his torso, hands on the reassuring warmth of the leather jacket. 

________________________________________

Rey is relieved to have a room to herself. At least now when Ben Solo shows up out of nowhere, she’ll have her own space to go. She doesn’t want the rest of the resistance to think she’s a nerve burner who talks to herself. She’s just someone who frequently communicates with one of the First Order’s highest-ranking officials. She wonders what’s happened with the leadership of the First Order now that Snoke is dead. Maybe Ben is now playing the role of the leader. Maybe it’s General Hux. She had heard Ben had at least some role in leading the First Order forces on Crait, but she doesn’t know what his official involvement was. 

There’s a small bed and footlocker in her quarters. She peels off her clothes, damp with sweat and stained with blood and ash. The last time she changed clothes was to put on this outfit, before she delivered herself to Ben. Rey had carefully selected the grey robes, wanting Ben to be impressed by her appearance. She decides to not dwell on what the implications of that might be. She puts on her simple grey tunic and long pants to keep warm in the cooler climate of Ylenia. When Rey opens the footlocker to toss in her dirty garments, she sees an old leather notebook covered with dust. Curious, she picks it up, and as she opens it, a graphite pencil falls out. 

The book is filled with various drawings. Landscapes of Ylenia and other planets she doesn’t recognize. Tall skycrapers and floating elevators. Lush fields covered by wildflowers. There’s some portraits, too, many of them dressed in rebellion uniform. Curious. 

She picks up the pencil and draws a curved line across an empty page to see if it still works before placing the notebook carefully back in the footlocker, laying the two broken parts of her blue lightsaber atop it. As she crawls into the bed, ready for sleep, she ponders all the different things she could draw, if she knew how. 

______________________________

Not two hours later, Rey wakes up from troubled sleep. She can’t escape Ben Solo anywhere. Lightyears of distance away, and he would still be able to reach out and touch her hand. She could slip into the world of dreams and he would be there, waiting, her mind imagining a thousand different scenarios in which she takes his hand rather than calling a weapon on him, in which she leaves everything behind for him. Tonight, though, she dreamt that she put her lightsaber through him, and as he fell to the ground, all she saw was a man rejected and betrayed by the only one he cared for. 

His pleading face that day on the _Supremacy_ haunts her. The vulnerable way in which the dark lord Kylo Ren had held his hand out and said “Please”. 

When she closes her eyes, she can still call every detail of his face and how it had been looking at her that day. Rey crawls across the bed and opens the footlocker, reaching for the cracked lightsaber. As she stoops to pick it up, her mind is called to the attention of the old leather notebook, and without thinking, she reaches for that instead. 

More than half the book is filled with empty pages, and although she has no idea how to draw, Rey finds herself starting to make the outline of a long face, a defined nose, plush lips. Now she’s entranced by her work, finding that releasing the image of Ben Solo’s face onto the paper is therapeutic work, and although her untrained hand can’t produce an image anywhere near as good as whatever rebellion official originally owned this notebook, she thinks she’s capturing Ben’s likeness well enough. 

She’s working on his eyes now, and Rey knows she has to get this right. They were the only part of his body he couldn’t control, couldn’t fit into the mask her wore every day. When he had taken off his helmet in front of her for the first time on Starkiller Base, she remembers how his eyes had been shined over with tears. That had been the most surprising thing about his appearance. Rarely since that first time has she seen Ben Solo’s eyes not gathering tears. When they had touched hands, although she had been nervous and had tears streaming down her face, the conflict and fear had left Ben’s face. She draws his eyes now as they had looked that night.

_________________________________________

 

Right now, Ben Solo’s eyes are pouring over the documents on the holopad in front of him. Every stormtrooper in the First Order has a personal file filled with information, including contents that the stormtroopers are ignorant of. Planet of origin. Age at which they were taken for the stormtrooper program. They’re sorted by unit, so it’s easy enough to find the file he’s looking for. FN-2187. Approximately 23 years of age, 5 feet and 9 inches tall. He had been on sanitation duty at Starkiller Base, had only been on a couple of short deployments before being sent to the _Finalizer._ How many times had Ben walked by him, shared a space with him, ignorant to the trouble one insignificant stormtrooper would bring to his life?

Ben reviews some of the other troopers in Finn’s squad, too. FN-2199. FN-2000. FN-2003, deceased. He had died the night of the raid on Jakku, the same night 2187 would’ve deserted. Ben wonders if the two events are connected. Perhaps the deserter isn’t so different from Ben himself. They both deserted after nights of violence. Both took new names, changed their appearances. He wonders if FN-2187 is trying to kill his former self like Ben has spent years trying to. 

Ben allows himself to remember the night he destroyed Skywalker’s temple, just for a minute. In his mind’s eye, he sees his old blue lightsaber clashing against his former classmates’. Of the ones who had turned with him shoving their sabers through the Jedi without a second thought. He remembers the flight to the Supremacy, his petrifying nerves at meeting the Supreme Leader for the first time, a person who had been inside his head for so long. Most of all, Ben remembers being scared. Scared he wouldn’t be good enough for Snoke. Scared of what he had just done to his family. He hadn’t known, at the time, whether or not he wished his uncle was dead or alive. He knows Skywalker is truly dead now, had felt it in the aftermath of Crait. _I’m sorry, Ben. I failed you,_ he had said. He doesn’t think he’ll ever forgive Luke for what he did. _I failed you_ can’t make up for what his uncle had been prepared to do to him. 

He pulls up FN-2187’s file again, focuses on the information he had been looking for. 

_FN-2187. Collected 12 ABY, age approximately one year old._

_Planet of origin: Katolino._

______________________________

 

Several days later, Finn has adapted to his schedule on Ylenia, however temporary it may be. He’s between shifts serving on lookout duty in the mess on base. Lookout duty can be incredibly boring. Ylenia is a small planet, and the base is far remote from any settlement. The most interesting thing that happened today was when a rodent-like white creature crawled up a nearby tree. 

Finn is eating his rations, sitting across from Poe. The pilot is already showing signs of restlessness, clearly not content with no x-wing to fly, no missions to embark on. General Organa has restricted taking the _Falcon_ out flying, citing that it’s too recognizable, not wanting to take any risks so soon after Crait. Finn knows Poe’s been spending a lot of time using flight simulators, but he can tell from how jumpy Poe always acts that he won’t be able to stand much more of this idleness. 

Poe knows more than Finn does about the search for a new base, though. He’s often included in meetings with the remaining resistance leadership: Leia Organa and Commmander D’Acy.

“Poe.”

“Yeah?”

“I know I’m supposed to ask this since you’re my superior, but-“

“No. Stop that. Finn, you’re not in the First Order anymore. You don’t ever have to watch yourself around me. And I’m not your ‘superior’. I’m pretty sure you don’t even officially have a rank. Actually, do you?”

“Uh, I don’t know. I don’t think so?”

“Regardless. Rank doesn’t matter. Not right now. And not between you and I. You can ask me anything.”

 _Not between you and I._ Finn’s heart starts beating a little quicker now, and he’s never had that feeling outside of being faced with potential death before. 

“Alright.”

“Alright.” Poe responds.

“How much longer do you think we’ll be on Ylenia for?” Finn asks with newfound confidence.

Poe lets out a long sigh. “No more than a few weeks. Leia’s been reaching out to old connections, but it’s hard to know who we can trust. They’ve narrowed it down to a few planets. Outer rim, most likely.”

Finn’s mind starts going through all the planets he can think of, the pros and cons of setting up bases in each one, so he’s distracted when Poe asks him,

‘So,” Poe clears his throat. “How’s Rose? Adjusting okay?”

“Busying herself with technical work. She wants to get on a permanent base and get working again just as much as you do.”

“What do you mean, just as much as I do?”

“Poe. You ask Rey if you can take the Falcon out about every five minutes, despite Leia’s orders. Your knee is always bouncing up and down. Look.” He gestures. “You’re doing it right now and you don’t even notice it. Whenever I look at you, there you are, your knee bouncing, that look on your face like you’ll die if you don’t get to fly something soon…”

“Looking at me often?” Poe asks with a wink. 

Finn is unexpectedly embarrassed. As he stutters, trying to come up with a reply, Poe rises, gathering his tray and napkin. 

“It’s not the First Order, Finn. You’re allowed to look at someone for more than half a second without being punished. I’ll see you next break.” 

The pilot exits the mess, leaving a speechless and confused Finn alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for continuing to read. This is my first fic ever so it's a bit scary to put it out there on the internet, but I absolutely love writing the adventures of these characters. Chapter 3 will be up some time in the next week. Again, come hang out with me on tumblr, url is fionaconnix :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3! I've decided to alternate POV characters with chapters, and this one belongs to Rey and Poe. 4 will be Finn and Ben. Rey plans for the future and Poe makes a proposition to Finn.

_When Rey comes to, there is still fire dancing all around the throne room of the Supremacy. She sits up slowly, trying to locate Ben. He lies a few feet away, back facing her. In between them lie two metal shards. No, no, no. She scrambles forward on her knees, gathering the remains of her lightsaber. It appears to be split perfectly in half, the cobalt crystal exposed on each of the two parts. No weapon, no ship, and…_

__

_Ben’s still knocked out, so she doesn’t see the harm in crawling towards him till she’s kneeling in front of his unconscious body. No doubt he’ll be furious when he wakes up, but Rey has never seen Ben Solo look more at peace than he does right now. His features are relaxed and his eyes closed, concealing the pain and conflict that normally seeps through them. This is dangerous, she knows, but it can’t hurt to stay here just a few seconds longer. Rey tentatively reaches out, fingers brushing his hair. It’s damp with sweat, but just as soft as she imagined it would be._

__

_“This isn’t the end for you and I. I know there’s still light in you.”_

__

_She finds herself unexpectedly choking up with tears. She can’t stay here with him, not after what he just proposed. Not after trying to pull a weapon on him._

__

_“I hope you can forgive Luke one day. And yourself. I’ll wait for you to do that. I know all about waiting.”_

__

_She strokes his cheek, just once, before standing up. Rey knows she has to get back to the Resistance before it’s too late. There’s got to be an escape pod somewhere around here in case Snoke ever had to jump ship. She scans the room, looking for exits. There’s a corridor just beyond the elevator that she had come in on with Ben. Maker, it feels like so long ago already. So much has changed just within the hour. Her heart feels broken as the lightsaber she holds in her hands at the recollection of the hope she had felt just after the battle for Ben Solo to join her, to turn. Stop, she tells herself. The hope isn’t dead. He could still come back._

__

_She jogs across the bridge and past the elevator, glancing back for one last parting look at Ben Solo before heading on. Rey searches through the hallway until she finds a door leading to a small hangar, just large enough for a compact black ship. She boards Snoke’s personal evac ship, leaving behind the remains of the Supremacy and her alliance with Ben._

_________________________________

 

When Rey had first left Ben behind on the Supremacy, it had been with hope that he would still turn, wouldn’t continue to aid the First Order. Perhaps he wouldn’t join the resistance, but she had just watched him kill the Supreme Leader of the First Order, so if anything, she expected him to jump ship like she had. But then she had heard about the role he had played in the events on Crait from Leia. She had been furious. Disappointed. Ashamed at her own foolish hope. Thankfully, the bond hasn’t connected them for some time now, and she thanks the force for giving her the time she needs to center herself before she can speak to Ben Solo again. There’s a clearing in the forest just past the landing port of Ylenia Base, and Rey has taken up with meditating here. She wears her long pants and a warm, gray woolen top she was issued by the Resistance, boots modified for the snowy ground. She goes through the motions with her staff, finding herself missing the elegance and sound of the lightsaber. It had felt like a living thing in her hands, something that spoke to her with every swooshing sound it made and centered her with every movement. After Luke lost his original lightsaber, he had constructed the famous emerald one he had wielded in his final confrontation with the Emperor and Darth Vader. When Ben turned to the dark side, he had constructed the imposing crossguard lightsaber she was so familiar with. She had to construct one of her own, too. She would never be any kind of Jedi if she had no lightsaber. 

Rey had already been sketching ideas for the design of her new saber in the leather notebook, filling up several pages with different classes of lightsaber, the pros and cons of each design. Should she recover the blue crystal from the Skywalker lightsaber, or go out in search for a new crystal, make her saber entirely hers, entirely new? 

Rey is taking a break, leaning against her staff, when Leia addresses her. 

“You’re very talented. It’s been quite some time since I’ve seen a Jedi in practice.”

“I’m not a Jedi.”

“No? I know that combat technique when I see it. My brother…” the General pauses. “Luke was going to train me. I think I would’ve made a lousy Jedi. Although, I guess there hasn’t yet been a Skywalker that’s been the prime example of the Jedi teachings.” 

Darth Vader for a father, a master-turned-hermit for a brother, and Kylo Ren for a son. Rey can’t disagree with that statement. 

“Why didn’t you go through with it?” It certainly can’t be for a lack of force affinity. Rey heard about Leia’s flight through the vacuums of space from Finn. No ordinary person could have ever survived that. 

Leia walks towards her, and now that the General is in front of her, Rey notices something glinting, dangling from her neck. Two golden dice attached to a chain. She’s seen them before, in the _Falcon._ Rey thought they were a silly thing to have decorating such a famed ship, but now she realizes they must’ve belonged to Han. She wonders what the story behind them is. 

“The war had just been won. Our freedom was so fragile, then. The New Republic needed reliable leaders, figures that the public was familiar with. I decided it would be better to remain in politics. He still taught me little things I could do to channel my power, though.” 

Leia looks down at the snowy ground before continuing. 

“I could feel him through the force. Family is like that. I could always feel his emotions. Until one day, I couldn’t. It was all in one day. I felt my son turn, felt Luke cut himself off. I busied myself with work, like I always do. With the Resistance. It was important work, but now I wonder if there had still been something I could’ve done to save Ben.”

Rey wishes so much that she could tell Leia about her and Ben’s connection through the force, but he’s on the opposite side of the war, and Leia is the general. Someday the right opportunity will come to tell her, but right now the wounds the Resistance suffered on Crait are too fresh.

They stand in the wood together, each contemplative and basking in the comfortable silence they are able to share. 

“Leia…I’ve been thinking. About my role in the resistance. Obviously I’ll stay and help as much as I can while we’re on Ylenia, but once you’ve found a new base, I’d like permission to go continue my Jedi training. To build my lightsaber.”

Leia nods, looking her in the eyes. 

“Of course. We won’t stay here much longer. I think if we did I’d drive Poe mad with boredom. As soon as we’ve transported everyone onto the new base, you can take your leave.”

“Thank you.”

“Do you know what you want your lightsaber to look like?”

The question takes Rey by surprise. “Oh. Uh, I don’t know yet, actually.”

“When Luke came back with that bright green thing, I thought it was so silly looking.” She remembers with a chuckle. “I liked the blue one. Very elegant. I don’t know where you’ll go to find the parts for a new saber, though.”

“I can salvage some of the parts from Luke’s. Everything else I can figure out from the Jedi texts.”

“Well, good luck. We’ll all miss you, while you’re gone. Finn especially, I think.”

“I’ll miss him. And… I’ll miss you too.”

Leia smiles and pulls Rey in for an embrace, and Rey thinks this must be like what it’s like to have a mother. She wonders if Ben felt as comforted by his mother’s touch as she does now.

____________________________________

“We’ll begin transportation as soon as possible. Maz is sending an empty cargo ship we can stock with supplies. We’ll need a pilot and copilot to fly it, and the rest of us will be on the Millennium Falcon. Lieutenant Connix will oversee preparations for departure. Takeoff will take place in two days or as soon as the ships are loaded and the resistance on board.” Commander Larma D’Acy addresses the gathered Resistance.

“And…we’ll be storing X-wings on a heavily populated planet in the middle of I former New Republic territory?” Finn asks skeptically. Poe had figured that at least some of the Resistance would be uncomfortable with this plan, and he doesn’t like the thought of acting more as a politician than a pilot, but Poe would follow Leia to the edge of the galaxy. If this is her plan, then he’ll follow it.

“Our focus right now is not on military action.” D’Acy responds. “General Organa, along with the rest of the Resistance leadership, has deemed it more important to rebuild and form connections. That is where our focus is. Recruitment, financing, rebuilding.”

Lieutenant Connix calls up graphics of the planet, a blue sphere dotted with a constellation of cities lighting it up. 

“Terolaas is an oceanic planet. A group of cities have been built on the surface, but large amounts of it remain uninhabited, other than underwater species.” The young Resistance leader says in her trademark tone: somehow charmingly disinterested. 

“We’ll be based in a single complex- close enough to a city, but with its own large hangar that can hold the _Falcon_ and, eventually, a fair amount of X-wings and other ships. Now, to your stations. Preparation starts now.” Commander D’Acy dismisses everyone, and Ylenia base is buzzing with activity as the Resistance excitedly gets to work.

Poe feels better than he has in weeks as he watches the hubbub, excited to finally have purpose, a base, perhaps even an X-wing again. Finn was right. He’s been at the brink of going crazy from sitting still for too long. Holdo had showed him that his trigger-happy methods aren’t always the right course of action, but Poe knows that _he_ serves the Resistance best when he’s in the cockpit of an X-wing in the midst of the action. 

He approaches Finn. 

“Hey, bud. Have you been given any specific orders for the transport?”  
“Nope.”

“I need a copilot.”

“For what?”

“The cargo ship. Leia gave me clearance to pilot it. C’ai wanted to copilot, but I told him I already had one.”

“The last time I was your copilot we crashed onto Jakku and got separated, you know.” Finn reminds him. 

“Good times.” When Poe had met Finn for the first time, his mind was still recovering from Kylo Ren’s interrogation and his body was exhausted, but he doesn’t know if he’s ever felt more alive than when he had shared the cockpit of a TIE with an ex-stormtrooper while escaping a star destroyer. It baffles Poe that he’s known Finn for such a short amount of time. In war, life moves fast enough that strangers can turn into the most important people in your life at speed faster than light. 

“Good times.” Finn reciprocates with an entertained smile. 

______________________________________

 

The next morning, a sleek freighter arrives in the Ylenia base hangar- a gift from Maz. Poe can’t help but admire the design, even if he’s partial to flying small fighters. Modern, compact, pristine, and- it appears to be Corellian in design….

“Is this a nicer version of the _Falcon_?” He asks to no one in particular, gesturing at the freighter. 

Poe’s query is met with a bark of laughter from several Resistance members, and a pleased groan from Chewbacca. 

“Maz always did have a soft spot for Corellian ships.” Says Leia amusedly. 

There’s no doubt it’s of the same line as the _Millennium Falcon,_ but it’s clearly _much_ newer. And cleaner. With far less dents. He wonders how much money Maz Kanata spent on a Corellian freighter that looks so similar to the _Falcon_ so she could get this exact reaction. 

On the _Falcon_ , Rose Tico is doing maintenance checks on the exterior of the ship and speaking to Finn. She has a relaxed, easy manner about her. Poe is thankful for the quick recovery of Finn’s friend. He knows the people Finn is close to are his own handpicked family, and losing any one of them would bring him tremendous pain. 

Rey is helping to haul some of the heavier containers onto the freighters, using her command of the force to lift them. Poe has never been around anyone with Jedi powers- well, other than Kylo Ren, and his amazement at Ren’s powers had come from a place of fear. Rey is intimidating, but she’s Finn’s closest friend, and she’s a hero in the Resistance. Her command of the force seems to match up more with the stories of Luke Skywalker he grew up with than Kylo Ren. 

Finn strides towards Poe. He’s wearing crisp Resistance-issued clothes and his patched leather jacket, and Poe can’t help from noticing that he cuts a fine figure in his new clothes. He cuts a fine figure in almost anything, but Poe especially admires how Finn looks in his old jacket. 

“Ready?” Poe asks.

“To do something other than stare at the woods for hours everyday or roam the halls bored? Yeah. I’m ready.” Finn follows Poe onto the freighter. 

He can poke fun at Poe all he wants for being restless, but Finn’s been a soldier all his life. Poe knows that Finn is just as restless as he is. 

“Does this ship have a name?” Finn asks.

“Don’t think so. What, do you think we should name it the _Millennium Eagle_?” Poe jests. 

“No.” Poe’s joke is met with a chuckle. “But how about… the _Mutiny_?” Finn counters, alluding to Poe’s actions aboard the Resistance cruiser. 

Poe rolls his eyes but gives a light laugh in response, and they walk through the sleek interior of the newly coined _Mutiny,_ settling into the pilot’s chairs in the cockpit. 

Finn assists him in powering up the ship, finding the comm sets and preparing for takeoff. Rey’s voice comes in through the speaker.

“This is the _Millennium Falcon_ , ready for takeoff.“

“We’re ready for takeoff here. Following your lead, _Falcon_. Coordinates are in the system.”

The _Millennium Falcon_ flies out of the hangar and into the open air, and the last thing Poe sees before it jumps to lightspeed are the coolly glowing engines of the freighter. 

He turns to Finn and flashes a roguish smile before following suit. He pulls on the hyperdrive accelerator, and as the flashing blue atmosphere of hyperspace forms around them, Finn holds his gaze. 

_______________________________________

Rey sits in the cockpit of the _Millennium Falcon_ twiddling her thumbs together. The flight to Terolaas should be a fairly short one, but she hasn’t felt this anxious for a trip to be over since she went to Ahch-To. Back then, though, she had been filled with uncertainty about herself but sure in the myth of the mighty Jedi Luke Skywalker. She had been positive that Kylo Ren was evil, that the galaxy needed Luke, and that Resistance would see peace restored to the galaxy. Most of that isn’t true anymore. 

Apparently whoever Leia’s connection is on Terolaas has enough ships to spare for Resistance use that Rey was given permission to take the _Falcon_. She’s already said most of her farewells, not wanting to delay her departure any longer than necessary. 

The _Falcon_ is moving through hyperspace more seamlessly than ever, thanks to repairs and modifications made by Rose. 

Finn is right. As soon as they were introduced, Rose and Rey became quick friends. Rey is inspired by her fiery spirit and sense of purpose. When they had first met in the mess hall on Ylenia, Rey had called a canister of water to her hand with the Force. A lousy way to channel it, she knows, but since she’s been without any lightsaber to train with, Rey has found herself needing to use the force in any way she can to keep in tune with it and herself. Rose had audibly gasped, scooted closer to Rey, and introduced herself. They had talked about their recent exploits, Finn, different ways the _Falcon_ could be improved. Rey finds the easy, ordinary conversations she can hold with Rose comforting. 

She pilots the _Falcon_ through the jump out of hyperspace and into the Terolaasian system. As they come into the surface of the small blue planet, Rey is struck by the same sense of wonder she was as she landed on Takodana and Ahch-To. The galaxy is so much more diverse and stunning than she could have dreamed of when she had lived in the harsh dunes of Jakku. 

Terolaas is covered by an expanse of calm oceans, but the soft blue waves are broken up by a massive floating city. A variety of ornate steel buildings pepper the landscape. Water speeders zoom through the breaks of the city in what must be races through the canals. It’s the most bustling place Rey has ever seen, and she’s amazed enough that she briefly forgets that she’s not staying long. She brings the ship speed down several units, preparing for landing. The coordinates Leia provided lead her to a complex of buildings all contained within a single floating block, the landing port located in a central clearing. 

Rey lands the _Millennium Falcon_ softly and climbs out of the cockpit to help unload the ship. As she steps off the ramp, she’s met with a pleasant sea breeze. Leia’s already gone to meet whoever was awaiting their arrival: an elegantly dressed older man. He’s deep-skinned and his dark hair peppered is with gray. They must be very friendly, because he pulls her in for an embrace, calling her by name. 

“Hello, Lando.” Rey hears Leia greet him with a smile.

“Who’s that?” she inquires, turning to Chewbacca.

The wookie responds with matter-of-fact groans about an old friend.

The General turns back to Commander D’Acy and Lieutenant Connix, giving orders of some kind before she follows the man inside the nearest building, Chewbacca following suit. 

Rey helps get the rest of the load off the ship and then grabs Rose Tico by the arm. 

“I’m leaving.”

The mechanic’s head tips backward in a face of confusion. 

“What? We just got to the base! Where are you going?” Her face displays sudden comprehension before she adds, “Is Leia sending you on a secret Jedi mission? Because if so I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to share that with me.”

Rey gives a soft laugh. “No. I…I have to go complete my training. There’s things that I have to do alone, and I can’t really do much for the Resistance until I do this.”

“Oh. I mean, it is kind of like a secret Jedi mission though.” Rose says.

“A bit, I guess. Anyways, I’m not staying any longer. When Finn arrives, give him this.” She holds out the blue beacon she had worn while on Ahch-To to Rose. “If anything happens to me, I don’t want them to be able to find you.” Rose looks frightened at the prospect but Rey assures her, “It’s just a precaution.”

She takes the glowing bracelet. “Good luck.” Rose tells her. 

“Thank you.” Rey smiles at Rose before turning around, walking back up the ramp and into the _Millennium Falcon_. She punches in the coordinates to her destination and lifts off, releasing a breath and preparing herself for the next part of her journey. 

________________________________________

 

The surface of Ilum comes into view as she jumps out of hyperspace, a great hulking white mass. She scans the surface of the icy planet she had read about in the Jedi texts, looking for a spot to land. There’s debris and the remains of crashed and long-abandoned star destroyers covering much of the landscape. Jagged rocks and heat sputter up from the depths of the surface in spots where the terrain has been torn up from the destroyers.

When she spots a cluster of mountains and a streaming waterfall, Rey knows she’s found the place she’s looking for. She tries to land as smoothly as she can. 

Rey reads on the screen that temperatures outside are subzero, so she heads to the main hold of the _Falcon,_ rummaging the storage containers until she finds old but warm white clothes her size. She strips off her clothing, down to her undergarments.

As she bends over to crawl into the pants, she hears _him._ Startled, Rey jumps at the sound of his deep, melodic voice. 

“Hello.” Says Ben Solo in greeting to the half-naked Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading :) Every comment and kudos is encouraging. I'm having SO much fun writing. Next chapter, we'll see Rey blush and Ben get excited. 
> 
> Come chat with me on tumblr, url is fionaconnix! Have a lovely day my fellow Star Wars nerds!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey continue to bicker and pine, Finn and Poe run into some trouble.

Ben Solo is reviewing First Order documents in his quarters when he feels the bond click in. He looks up, and…oh.

Rey obviously doesn’t know he can see her. If she did, he doubts she’d linger in her current state of undress. He has a full view of the smooth skin covering the planes of her back, the curve of her hips, the shape of her backside. He’s mesmerized by the sight of her, but a voice in the back of his head tells him it’s wrong to violate her privacy like this any longer. 

“Hello.” he says in greeting. 

Rey jumps at the sound of his voice, then turns abruptly to face him. Her hands cover her stomach, and her eyes are wide at the sight of him. Her expression is one of pure shock. 

“Could you please turn around?” she barks out.

He obliges, slowly rising from his chair before turning around. This has happened once before, but the roles had been reversed. He remembers how her breath had hitched when she had seen his bare chest. No one had ever seen him in any state in undress, and he’d felt a kind of vulnerability that he hadn’t known it was still possible to feel. 

He rotates his body again to face her. Rey wears white pants and turtleneck, a light grey coat. Wherever she is, it must be cold. He stores this information away in his mind. 

“Next time, a warning might be nice.” she says, fire in her eyes but her expression otherwise calm (calm for them at least).

“You know I can’t control this anymore than you can.”

She sighs, saying nothing in response but still maintaining eye contact. 

“You’re alone. Have you left the Resistance already?”

“No. I’m not a deserter.” she bites back. 

“Perhaps you’re not, but your friend certainly is.”

“You don’t get to talk to me about Finn. The First Order took everything from him. He had a family. A family he’ll never get to meet and it’s all your fault.”

“No it’s not.”

“What?”

“The stormtrooper program…your friend is twenty-three. I would’ve been a child when he was brought to the First Order. I had no part in that.”

“You know what I mean.” She looks frustrated.

He wonders if he should tell her what he’s unearthed about the former stormtrooper’s past. He decides against it. Another time, when she’s less angry. 

“What happened to the lightsaber?” he asks her. He’s been wondering ever since after Crait. He figures she must have taken it.

“You don’t know?”

“I saw a light, and you, and then…nothing.”

His query must take her by surprise, because she almost looks nervous as she prepares herself to say,

“It…it shattered. It’s broken.”

 _Your equal in the light._ Ben had felt it, had known the light inside her was just as strong as the dark inside him. The bond they shared had only strengthened their power, the force within them intermingling with each other, allowing them to fight together in a seamless dance against the scarlet guards, burning the throne room to the ground.

If it had been anyone else opposite him calling the saber, the weapon would have chosen one master. But not with her. _Only_ Rey could be his equal. Only Rey could cleave a channel of ancient power in half rather than force it to choose between the two of them. 

“When you were young…” she begins, hesitantly. “When you were young you had a blue lightsaber. When did you make the red one?”

He tries to remain calm as he recalls to her, 

“It was one of the first things Snoke made me do…he wanted me to make an entirely new one. I modified my old one and bled the crystal. Repainted the hilt so he wouldn’t know.”

This is one of his most close-kept secrets, something he’s never shared. Bleeding his lightsaber… that had been one of the most frightening things he’d ever done, at the time. Pouring his hurt and his anger and all the darkness into him into the crystal until it had cracked slightly and turned a shocking red. His new lightsaber was a symbol of his dark power, but the crackling embers of the corrupt crystal were a constant reminder of how broken and conflicted his inner self remained. He allows her to see the memory, as he had shown her the night Luke had turned on him. 

After, he can see she’s winded by the power of the memory. 

“Ben…” she looks at him differently now, and he thinks he can make out pity in her eyes. He doesn’t want to be pitied. 

“Rey. When you make yours, don’t do it like that.” He doesn’t want her to channel everything that hurts her in that way. 

The last look she gives him before the connection fades away is almost pleading. 

________________________________________________

“Have you ever been to where we’re going?” Finn asks Poe as they zip through the flashing blue of hyperspace. 

“Once, when I flew for the Republic. Didn’t get to stay long, but what I saw,” he flashes his electric eyes at Finn. “Looked like a nice place.”

Whatever Finn was going to say in response is drowned out by the alarms on the _Mutiny_ sounding. The interior lights flash, lighting up the ship. 

“What the hell?” Poe exclaims.

“What’s going on?”

“There’s something wrong with the fuel reserves. We’re not going to make it to Terolaas, not like this. We’re going to have to jump out at the closest system.” Poe pulls on various levers and switches, and Finn doesn’t think he really even needs a copilot, because he’s not any help right now, and Poe seems to be managing just fine. 

“Which is?”

“Kafino system. Jumping out… now.” 

They fly out of hyperspace, and Finn is floored by the unexpectedly quick acceleration, falling out of his chair. 

“A warning might be nice next time, you know!”

“I did warn you!” 

“Maybe a ‘buckle up’ or a ‘I’m about to jump out of hyperspace so fast you won’t be able to prepare yourself’’?”

“I said, “jumping out now!”

They’re both too caught up in their bickering to notice that the _Mutiny_ is quickly, violently sputtering, down to the very last of the fuel. 

The ship lurches forward, threatening to spiral, and Finn manages to get back up, strap himself in as quickly as he can to the autopilot’s chair. 

The ship is fast approaching the planet just ahead, a green sphere filling up the viewport.

The surface comes into view, and they’re passing over lakes, vast mountains, and expansive green fields. They’re headed straight for one of those fields, in fact. At a speed far faster than Finn is comfortable with. He looks over to Poe, who’s focused on his task, sweat on his brow, trying to keep them both safe. 

Finn puts his hand on Poe’s as the _Mutiny_ crashes into the surface of the planet. 

_____________________________________________

The next time the force connects them, not days later, he’s walking through the reflective black corridors of the _Finalizer_ to the bridge when he sees her there, on the floor of the ship. She’s lying down, and he can’t see her surroundings, but her lips are colorless. He would try to ignore her, give her space to sleep peacefully, but he knows the bond has woken her up from sleep before, and she doesn’t look like she could respond to anything right now. He starts towards her, trying to get Rey’s attention.

“Rey?”

She’s still laying there, and though he can hear her breath, it’s slow and unsteady, broken up by shivers. 

Ben takes off his glove and brings his hand to Rey’s face, and he feels the coldness of her forehead against the back of his palm. He hasn’t had physical contact with her since they touched hands. Since they probed into each other’s minds. 

He picks her up as he had the first time they met, this time with more concern and worry. He can see her surroundings now, as he had been able to when they touched hands. He had seen the hut around them. He’d heard the rain and crashing waves outside, seen the fire flickering on her tear-streaked face. 

Now, he can see the interior of a cave, lined with ice. The entrance is some hundred feet away, and he doesn’t understand how he can be both here and be on the Finalizer, but he’s not too concerned with the laws of their connection, either. He pulls her body closer to his, and her shivering frightens him but her eyes flutter open and find his. 

“Ben?”

The sound of her voice speaking the name he’d tried so hard to abandon makes something inside him light up every time, and it focuses him on his task. He has no idea what planet she’s on. As Ben leaves the cave with her form in tow, he’s hit by blistering winds, but through it all a ship not too far off. As they approach it, he realizes exactly _what_ ship it is, and…

The sight of his father’s ship would normally be enough to cleave his spirit, but right now he can’t focus on anything other than Rey’s safety. 

Ben Solo knows exactly how to get this ship open, has pulled these levers a thousand times in a past life. Soon enough they’re climbing up the ramp and into the main hull. He wants to lay her down, but he’s not sure the connection will hold if they pull apart, so Ben is still holding her as he scrambles around, looking for blankets. He’s able to find heatpacks, and he covers her with all the warmth he can, holding Rey closely. Trying to will all the warmth in his body into hers, unsure if it will travel across the bond. 

He loses track of time as he holds her. The entire time he feels stress in his mind, only abated when he hears her breathing steady, some color come back into her face. He refuses to look around the _Millennium Falcon,_ to face the remains of his past. His attention is only on Rey. 

Eventually, she’s well enough to sit up. 

“What…” Her expression is one of complete confusion as she takes in her surroundings.

“How did I get back here?”

“I carried you.”

“How did you know where I am?” she asks angrily. It didn’t take long for her spirit to fire up again. 

“I don’t know where you are. I’m not… really here. I looked up and saw you there, and I brought you back here. I thought you might die.” he says in frustration. 

“Why would you think that?”

“Why would I think that someone unconscious and shivering might die, not knowing how to survive in whatever freezing planet they’re on when they’ve spent most of their life on Jakku?” he says, voice rising. 

“You shouldn’t care if I live or die.” she bites back.

“You’re right. I shouldn’t.”

They sit in pregnant silence, unsure of what to say to each other, neither one wanting to be the one to back down. She’s looking at him like she had when he’d told her he was a monster. 

They’re not touching anymore, so he can’t see her surroundings. 

“I’m not with the resistance.” she tells him. “I mean, I _am_ with them, just not…physically with them. You can’t find them through me.”

He says nothing. 

It’s awkward now, and he has no idea if he should say something, or sit in silence until the connection fizzles out. 

She’s the one who breaks the silence, again.

“Thank you…thank you for that. I’ll figure out the cold.” she offers reluctantly. 

“What are you doing?”

“I’m here to build my lightsaber. I read in the texts this was where the Jedi used to come to find their crystals. The Empire gutted it for resources, but I figure if I look hard enough…”

Her scavenger past is coming out, even now, even as she trains to be a Jedi. He had seen flashes of it inside her mind, images of a skinny scavenger climbing through crashed Star Destroyers in search of something she could sell to keep the hunger in her belly at bay. She must be on Ilum. He’s heard of what it’s like now. A former Jedi shrine, a place of paramount power, stripped. A shadow of what it had been. The Jedi used to mine the caves for crystals in a rite of passage, but that practice had been abandoned by the time he trained under Skywalker. 

“Do you know how to build it?” he doesn’t know how much Luke trained her, and last time he saw her, she was still wielding the Skywalker lightsaber. 

“I’ve read enough about it. I think the rest will come to me when it needs to.”

He doesn’t know how they came to this, talking so normally. As if they hadn’t been so close to fighting each other on the _Supremacy._ As if she hadn’t seen everything he could give and turned it down. As if he hadn’t attacked her friends in a violent fit, drunk with power and rage. He’s still angry but…if she had died, just now…

“What will you do after?” he asks softly.

They might not be touching anymore, but they’re sitting close enough that when Rey’s eyes fly to his, it’s jarring. This was why he had betrayed Snoke. This feeling she’s igniting within him right now with just eye contact.  
“Even if I knew, I couldn’t tell you. I-“

The connection fades out before Ben can hear whatever she’s about to say.

___________________________________________

Everything hurts. His head hurts. His chest hurts. Finn has no idea how he’ll move his leg out from the position he’s in. He blinks his eyes, trying to process his environment. 

He slowly turns his head, and that’s when he sees Poe in the pilot’s chair to his left, head drooped down. Finn unclasps his restraints, moves over to Poe. Finn’s hands cover Poe’s cheeks, lifting his head. 

“Poe. Wake up.”

He can see movement under Poe’s eyelids, and then he’s coming back into consciousness, focused on Finn’s face. 

Poe grunts. “Ow.” 

Finn helps Poe out of his seat, placing one of his arms over the Back of Finn’s neck. He struggles through the _Mutiny,_ opening the back so they can squeeze out in the opening where the ramp would normally lower. If they hadn’t crashed the ship. It’s still in one piece, unlike the TIE they had crashed onto Jakku in, so maybe it’s still salvageable. If Rey was with them she’d probably be able to use the force to lift up the ship. But she’s not here. She’s lightyears away, making her lightsaber somewhere. When she’d told him on Ylenia, he’d at first been disappointed that she was leaving again, but if this is what she needs to do to find herself and figure out her place in all this, then he’ll support her. 

He brings Poe down to the ground next to him. The grass is thick and lush. The _Mutiny_ left a trail of destruction in its crash, breaking up the greenery and revealing dark brown earth. Ahead of them is a huge slate mountain, caps of snow covering the top. The air is clean save for the smoke coming from parts of the _Mutiny,_ and Finn breathes it in, throwing his arm on his forehead. 

“We are never flying a ship together again.”

Poe gives a pained laugh. “You think it’s bad luck?”

“I don’t know. Somehow each time I share a cockpit with the best pilot in the galaxy, we end up crashed somewhere.”

“This place looks better than Jakku, at least.” Poe sits up and offers Finn an optimistic smile. 

“Do you know what planet we’re on?” Finn asks.

“All I saw on the monitor was the system. We can figure it out, though.” He slowly stands up and offers his hand out to Finn. “There’s a holopad in a container in the main hull, just past the door. Should be able to tell us where we are.”

Finn squeezes back through the small opening, and searches through the containers until he comes across a holopad, heading back out to Poe. 

The screen lights up, and a map of the galaxy focuses in on their location. 

_Katolino._

Finn’s never heard of Katolino before. It’s possible it could be First Order territory, but he’d never come across anyone that was deployed to a Katolino, at least that he can remember. He’s grateful that BB-8 went on the _Falcon_ with the rest of the Resistance. That droid is probably the most famous in the galaxy, and if this _is_ First Order domain, it would get them arrested in a minute. 

“Have you ever heard of this place?” he asks Poe.

“No, I can’t say I have. We’re in the Outer Rim. I have no idea how far from Terolaas. I say we lie low, try to figure out where we can get parts to fix the ship, then get outta here as soon as possible.”

Finn takes the holopad, pulls up the navigational functions. “Looks like there’s a city a few miles west.”

Poe nods, then starts heading the right direction. Finn takes his arm, stopping him. Poe’s eyes fly down to where Finn’s hand clasps his arm.

“What?”

“You can’t just head out in a jacket with the rebel insignia. We have no idea what territory this place is under.” Finn takes a small blade out from his pocket, tugging Poe closer to him. 

He starts taking the rebel patch off with the blade. He tries to not think about how close their faces are as he does this, Poe looking at him. Then he realizes he doesn’t exactly know why his heart is beating faster, or why he shouldn’t try to think about how close Poe’s face is to his own. 

When he’s done, he puts the patch in a pocket in the lining of his jacket, laying right atop his beating heart. They head towards the village. 

_______________________________________

“Sir.”

Ben Solo’s back almost starts to itch at the sound of Hux’s voice. “What?”

 

“We’ve just had a report come in from intelligence in the Kafino system. A Corellian Y class freighter crashed on the surface of Katolino this morning. Abandoned but filled with supplies.”

Corellian freighter…but that’s impossible. He knows the _Falcon_ is on Ilum with Rey. Unless she left right after he last saw her, but there’s no way she could’ve made it to Ilum in that time. Does the Resistance have a decoy _Falcon?_

And Katolino… that’s the planet FN-2187 was from originally. There’s no way the Resistance could have that information unless they were able to hack into the First Order database. He’s intrigued enough to want to go down to the planet himself, but there’s no need for him to do that now. He is Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order. 

“Send a squadron of stormtroopers down to the planet and make sure they don’t leave until they find whoever was flying that ship.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I really wanted to explore the Ben/Rey dynamic more in this chapter, so I know it's pretty heavy on that in this one. Chapter 5 will have more action and more stormpilot, I promise! Thanks so much for all the wonderful positive feedback, you guys have no idea how much comments warm my heart. Come hang out with me on tumblr (I basically live there), my url is fionaconnix :)
> 
> Chapter 5 should go up by Friday at the latest! I'll try and get set on a regular upload schedule, but right now I'm figuring out how to balance college and writing and uploading regularly. Have a lovely lovely day everyone. <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn and Poe run into some trouble. Rey completes her training, but the path of the Jedi might not be as simple as she'd thought.

Rey treks through the caves of Ilum. Her head is covered by a wrap and she wears several more layers than she had been the other day. 

The former scavenger has been scouring these caves for almost a week now, going in deeper with each passing day- looking for just a single kyber crystal she could use in her lightsaber. The Empire may have been tyrannical, but they were efficient, and the crystal caves of Ilum are stripped to the bone, hollow and cold. She’s begun to lose hope, but suddenly there’s a large opening, the narrow passage she’d just been through opening to a vast cavern. 

The dark grey interior of the cave is sleek with ice that also comes down in massive icicles. The past week hasn’t been so different from what her life had been like on Jakku. Rey wakes up each morning in the _Falcon,_ heads into old remains of fallen powers and scavenges for something she desperately needs. 

On Jakku she had spent the nights busying herself with flight simulators or swinging her staff for strength training. Now she spends them sketching in her notebook. She’s sketched her friends: Finn, Rose, and Poe. She’s drawn Leia with the collar of her gown turned up. She’s sketched the detailed plans for her lightsaber. She draws Ben most often, though. His eyes, his lips, his ungloved hand. She’s drawn him with that menacing anger in his eyes and drawn him when he was vulnerable and kind. 

The cavern is tall, and she looks around and up, surveying the space. There’s a small opening way up top- high enough that it might’ve been more trouble to get up there than the Empire thought it was worth. But Rey has her climbing picks and years of experience climbing through Star Destroyers, and she’s up for the challenge. She walks up to the cave wall and takes a deep breath to prepare herself. Rey throws her bag over her shoulder and grips her hands on the picks before striking them into the icy wall in front of her, as high as she can get. 

This is one of the most difficult climbs she’s ever done. Within fifteen minutes the muscles in her arms are sore, but every chink in the ice gives her courage. It’s hard to grip her feet against the cave wall, so her chest and arms are doing the bulk of the work. Sweat drips down her brow and she’s beginning to feel the cold slip away from her body, replaced with the warmth of physical work. 

After what feels like hours, her pick hits the interior of the opening. She pulls herself up with every ounce of strength she can muster. Rey has to crouch to fit through the cavity, but when she crawls through and sees what’s inside she lets out an amazed gasp.

This must be the only part of the crystal caves that the Empire didn’t get to. Kyber crystals light up the interior and light dances on every surface. Rey lowers her scarf from her mouth, allowing the chill to hit the bottom half of her face. The crystals almost appear clear. She’d read in the Jedi texts that they gain their color once they interact with the force of a Jedi, so she has no idea what hers will look like. She only knows it won’t be red. The only way that can happen is by doing what Ben had done when he became Kylo Ren, pouring all the darkness and hatred and hurt inside of him into the crystal…

She’s seen inside his mind more than once; has gotten a glimpse of the raw power that resides inside of Ben Solo. Only someone with intimidatingly great strength in the force could crack their own kyber crystal. And if they truly are equals that must mean that she’s capable of doing something as frightening as that too. Rey would never give in to the darkness like Ben did, though. 

Rey is drawn to one section of the small cave towards the back. She doesn’t know exactly why, but something inside of her is being tugged toward it. The crystals in front of her glint and shine. She’s entranced. This is where she’ll take the kyber crystal for her lightsaber. 

_Breathe. Reach out._

On the whole, Luke Skywalker hadn’t ended up being much help in her training, but he did teach her how to center herself. Rey takes deep breaths and channels the force into the crystal structure in front of her. 

She hears a slight cracking sound. One small crystal breaks off and floats towards her. She takes it in her hands, and it forms its color. A bright white light fills the cave, connecting Rey to the force and her shocking white kyber crystal. 

_____________________________________

Finn and Poe come across a hub of buildings and activity miles out from the crashed _Mutiny._ The structures (varying in height and color) seem to blend in seamlessly to the mountainous green landscape of Katolino. The ground is paved with cobblestone that appears almost white. Poe almost doesn’t notice the red and black flag of the First Order flying atop an out-of-place sleek gray building. Clearly a new addition. 

He leans closer to Finn, walking beside him. “Maybe if we lie low they won’t notice us. We’re not wearing orange uniforms or anything, so there’s no way for anyone to know we’re Resistance.”

“Good plan. Lie low. Find the parts we need to fix the ship. Get out of here as soon as possible.” Finn agrees. 

They walk closer to the center of the town, where groups of holoprojectors display various images, including projections of fugitives. The faces of Poe Dameron and the traitor FN-2187 are two of the blue holos lit up in the square . Poe puts his arm out in front of Finn, preventing him from walking any further and discreetly pointing towards their images. They retreat behind a column, trying to remain as hidden as they can. 

“So we need a new plan.” Poe says. 

“Obviously.” Finn responds, exasperated. 

“We need to get word to Leia, fill her in on what’s happened.”

“You have the comm.” 

“Right.” says Poe. He reaches to grab it from his pocket, and…

“Shit.”

“What?”

“It must’ve fallen out in the crash, I don’t have it. We have to go back to the _Mutiny._ We can’t get word to the Resistance without it.”

Finn gives a heavy, disgruntled sigh before following Poe. 

_______________________________________ 

Deep breaths in. That’s what Rey is focusing on. She’s sitting in the cavern of the Ilum caves, legs crossed as Luke had taught her to do when meditating in her time on Ahch-To. 

To make her lightsaber, she’ll have to channel the force with maximum control. The only other time in her life she’s been this in tune with it was when she had first met Kylo Ren. Rey had never felt the force flow through her like that. All she had been focused on at first was keeping him out of her mind, but then a strength she’d never felt before had manifested itself, and she found herself in tune with him, his thoughts, his very being.

She’s deconstructed the Skywalker lightsaber. Its parts are laid out in front of her, the remnants of a legendary weapon. She’s fashioned some components herself, the metal taken from replaced bits of the _Falcon._ If everything goes according to plan, the weapon she constructs should be a seamless blend of the past and the present; of Rey, a no one from the dunes of Jakku and of the great Skywalker family. 

She inhales deeply and raises up the lightsaber pieces in front of her with the force. She opens up the bottom of the Skywalker hilt, laying one of the _Falcon’s_ parts over it and inserting her white crystal. She had to alter the original hilt to make room for her modifications, but Rey has experience with scavenging and transforming old into new. She had built her staff from old scraps taken from Star Destroyers and had lived in the belly of an AT-AT. Now she would take the old Skywalker weapon and make it her own. 

The pieces of her new weapon are lined up and spaced out in front of her, levitating in the cold air of the cave. This phase will take the most energy and the most concentration. She calls the force and channels it through her hands, bringing together each part of the lightsaber in a roll of raw power. Light fills the cave, and the weapon flies into her right hand. 

She raises the saber up into the air and holds her thumb flush to the two buttons on hilt to ignite the blades. One end of the lightsaber emits a sleek white light, smooth and pure. The other end is a crackling light blue- the effect of the broken crystal from the Skywalker saber. It’s exactly as she had planned: the crackling blue mirroring Ben’s red weapon just as she knows she mirrors Ben. She presses her finger against one of the switches and the white blade retreats, leaving only the blue. She gives the weapon a whirl and then reignites both sides. 

Rey flourishes the lightsaber as she would her staff. Unlike her staff, though, this weapon gleams and sings, as alive as the person wielding it. She strikes it through an ice formation. The blade glides through effortlessly. Shattered ice covers the ground in front of Rey. 

The creation of a lightsaber was traditionally the final act in Jedi initiation. With her new lightsaber, Rey has become the last Jedi, but she’s not concerned with that right now, attuned only to the swinging weapon her arms control and the force flowing through her. 

 ____________________________________________

Poe and Finn arrive back at their crashed ship only to find the area swarming with a troop of Stormtroopers. _So much for lying low,_ Poe thinks. They keep hidden, crawling up a nearby hill and ducking. The cover is still much too close to their enemy for Poe to feel comfortably concealed, but it’s the best they can do. 

“What are we going to do now?” says Finn.

“Do you have any credits on you?”

“Just my blaster and a pocket blade. Everything else is on the ship.”

Poe is about to say something in response when a blaster shot whizzes past the top of his head. Instinctually, he ducks and lets out a curse. 

“They saw us.”  
“Oh, really?” Finn barks.

They’re outnumbered. Poe had counted at least six troopers, and although both he and Finn are well trained in combat, he doesn’t feel great about these odds or the exposure the fight gives them, even if they make it out alive. Finn is already in the thick of the fight, lifting his head just high enough over their cover to shoot at the stormtroopers. 

A deafening _BOOM_ hits Poe’s ears, and the landscape around him erupts in a smoke of unearthed dirt. 

He doesn’t know where whatever grenade just launched came from, but it wasn’t aimed at him and Finn, so he takes the opportunity to advance on the stormtroopers. 

He uses their disorientation to his advantage, grabbing a stormtrooper by the head and meeting their gut with his knee. As the stormtrooper keels from the blow, he shoots them with his blaster. 

Poe assesses his surroundings. To his right, Finn is one on one with a trooper, holding his own just fine, and to his right…

A tall blonde woman dressed in black fights a stormtrooper. She has a rifle across her back and blasters strapped to her thighs. She charges for the trooper in front of her, sticking a blade into a chink in their armor. They go down in a bloody mess. The combat technique she’s using is primitive, nothing that would be taught by the First Order or Resistance. He has no idea who this woman is, has never seen her in his life. 

He can’t focus on her right now, though. She’s not fighting him. That’s all that matters. 

A stormtrooper catches him off guard, their arm making its way around his neck and capturing him a chokehold. Poe struggles to fend them off. His legs kick, looking for solid ground to land his feet on as his arms come up to the sleek white arm around his throat. His vision is starting to go white and for a few seconds Poe really wonders if this is the end. This is how he’ll go out. Choking at the hands of a stormtrooper on a planet he’s never heard of; a complete failure to the Resistance. 

He hears the fire of a blaster and the arms loosen. He looks up to see Finn with a worried but determined expression plastered on his dirt-streaked face. Off in the distance, the woman with the rifle fights the last stormtrooper. Poe and Finn watch her bring her foot up to the trooper’s groin. As he falls over, she takes the rifle from her back and connects it with his helmet before putting a shot through his head. The two Resistance fighters look the stranger and back at each other in confusion and relief. 

She saunters over to them. Her blonde hair is in her face and her black boots leave marks in the earth as she walks towards Finn and Poe. 

“Poe Dameron and FN-2187.” She says with swagger. “You’re both idiots.”

 _______________________________________________

Rey settles into the warmth of the _Falcon,_ body still singing with the energy that forming her lightsaber had provided. She has her saber strapped to the belt at her waist and sits in the main hold of the ship, one of the books of the Jedi spread out on her lap. The white leather tome looks as old as it is, and Rey takes care of the binding as she flips over a page. She reads through the text, eventually coming upon the Jedi code.

_There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity…_

_There is no emotion._ Rey reads over this line in the Jedi code over and over again, eyes failing to move past the end of the sentence. No emotion…

Flashes of her past flit through her mind. The emptying loneliness of her life on Jakku. The joy she felt when she had first met Finn and Han. The confusion and disappointment when faced with the reality of Luke Skywalker. The belonging she had found with Ben. Her anger at Ben after Crait. 

Luke had taught Rey that the Jedi had failed, but she still believed she could restore the great Order. She could correct Luke’s mistakes. But with no emotion, she wouldn’t be where she is right now. Her life would mean nothing, she would mean nothing. 

Rey stands up, the book tumbling onto the floor. She feels consumed by confusion and anger at the words she just read, the only thing left of a legendary time long past. Were these truly the Jedi teachings? To suppress emotion, to deny oneself happiness and anger and everything else that came with knowing others?

A wave of darkness passes through her; she can feel her body thrumming with the dark side as she had when she had stood before the cave entrance on Ahch-To. She doesn’t know if the Jedi are the right way and doubt and anger crash through her emotions. Rey is struggling, trying to find the light inside of her when she feels him. He’s standing, turning to face her. There couldn’t be a worse time to be faced with Kylo Ren, and yet here he is. 

“Rey?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely loved writing this chapter! It's my first foray into writing action, so I hope you enjoyed it :) I'm hoping to have Chapter 6 up very soon. The direction for this fic is really forming in my mind and I'm so excited to take my space friends on a journey. Thanks so much for you kind words. Every comment means so much. Come hang out with me on tumblr, my url is fionaconnix (I promise I'll be nice to you.) 
> 
> Now, the real challenge this week will be forcing myself to do my readings for school and balance Starlit with work...


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day! This chapter sees Ben struggling with his new job. Finn and Poe make a new friend (?) and the shit starts to hit the fan for our favorite Resistance heroes.

“Supreme Leader, we need to discuss plans for the First Order’s expansion. Supreme Leader Snoke had a detailed plan set forth on the growth of our Empire.” Hux stands behind him. 

Ben knew this discussion would have to happen eventually. When he had assumed the role of Supreme Leader, he hadn’t thought through what the reality of the position would be. He had to make real, difficult decisions about the fate of the galaxy. He was Supreme Leader, and no one could refute his final word. 

The expansive document with plans for the expansion of the First Order had contained pages and pages of bloodshed. Perhaps they wouldn’t be obliterating systems to ashes as Hux had done with the Hosnian system, but the military offensive Snoke had planned would mean the death and subjugation of countless citizens. He had visited some of the planets included in his childhood. Naboo had been his grandmother’s home planet. He had been born on Chandrila. 

Rey had told him she wouldn’t reconsider his offer until he stopped bloodshed. He had told her he wouldn’t be another Snoke, and although he’s still shaken from her brutal betrayal on the _Supremacy,_ she remains the greatest force in his life. He can sense that he is slowly crawling back into her heart. 

“I read through it. There’s no information on the current government of any of the planets. I want that included in the document, and then we can discuss expansion.” 

“Supreme Leader” Hux bristles. “If you want to continue Snoke’s legacy, we must show our force to the galaxy. We should act immediately-“

“Are you questioning my orders, _General?”_ He stands at his full height, face twisted in an imposing glare.

“No, sir. I’ll have my men draw up the information you want immediately.” Hux says with contempt and fear. “So we can begin our offensive sooner.” Hux he adds, glaring at Kylo Ren before walking off of the bridge. 

Ben decides to head to the training room. Lately, he’s found that pushing his body to its limits is the only thing that will distract him from his thoughts. His regret and longing and anger and conflict- all of it fades to the background when he’s slashing his saber through training droids in the sleek black respite of the sparring room. 

Four black droids surround him, bright red lasers shooting from their turrets. He moves his saber up to catch one of their blasts, then twirls his weapon in a circle, his saber vibrating as it catches three more. Ben calls upon the force, channeling it through his weapon. In a burst of energy four red bolts fire back out of his gleaming weapon, destroying each of the droids. 

_Well, that’s new._ Ben has never been able to shoot deflected bolts out of his lightsaber before. In fact, he’s never seen any force-wielder do such a thing, Jedi or not. His powers must be growing, which means that hers are too. He wonders what she’s doing on Ilum right now. Has she made her lightsaber?

He heads out of the training room, returning to his chambers. He flicks on the switch that turns on the fresher. Water hits his face and his hair pours forward, blocking his vision. As the hot, steamy water rains over his body, Ben Solo’s thoughts dwell on the events of the day, and on her. 

Rey had told him she would never join him until he proved he had changed. He doubts that attacking several different planets, killing its citizens and raising the crimson flag of the First Order over their monuments would show her that, but he’s in too deep now. 

When he had seen her future, he had seen a little girl screaming as her parents offered her to a hulking creature, flying away to a gambling den or cantina somewhere. He had seen swinging lightsabers and heard shouts of pain and glory. Lastly, he had seen her standing beside him. He had seen their hands joined, looking at the stars from the inside of a glossy black ship. That’s why Ben had known they would rule together. He doesn’t know if he can believe in that future anymore, though. 

He had been the prime example of a Jedi. Had trained relentlessly everyday and read the sacred texts. But when he had tried to meditate, all he could focus on was the voice of a distant stranger seeping into his mind and nurturing the darkness. And when his uncle had betrayed him, he had turned and embraced that darkness fully. 

That didn’t bring fulfillment either, though. Ben felt himself missing the warmth of his mother’s presence. He had felt conflict and pain tear through him like the blade of a lightsaber as he’d watched the crimson fire of Starkiller Base destroy the Hosnian planets. As he plunged his weapon through his father’s flesh. Ben hadn’t known what the answer was or which side he should be on until he had met Rey. Then he realized the answer was something entirely different: a future that they could form together, leaving behind the rigid Jedi and the destructive First Order, shaping their own world and presiding over all of it side-by-side. 

_____________________________________

“Poe Dameron and FN-2187. You’re both idiots.” she speaks with the same accent that Rey and Hux share, although a much harsher version. Her blond hair is wild, and combined with her all-black ensemble and the array of weapons strapped to her person, she’s imposing. 

Finn has no idea who this woman is. She’s not with the Resistance. There’s only about 20 people in the Resistance currently, so he definitely would be able to recognize her if she was. 

“Who are you?” Poe asks.

“Sirene Colto. Or, the person that just saved your ass. You do know you’re on every wanted list the First Order publishes, right? Half the galaxy knows what your face looks like.”

“What’s it to you?” Finn interjects, studying her. “You’re not Resistance.”

“No. But I’m no friend of the First Order. We need to clear out of here. 6 dead stormtroopers isn’t news that’ll stay quiet for long.”

Finn knows she’s right, but he doesn’t trust her. He finds it harder to trust strangers after DJ’s betrayal of him and Rose. He doesn’t have any options right now, though. Perhaps he and Poe could find some shelter in the mountains, but he’s unfamiliar with the territory. If they took their chances on a stranger in the village there would be no more of a guarantee that they aren’t aligned with the First Order. Sirene- whoever she is- is their only option, and she did just help them take out a squadron of stormtroopers. 

“Alright.” he says. “We’ll come with you.”

Poe turns to him, face wearing an expression of confusion. He grabs Finn’s arm and brings him closer to him, their faces only a breadth apart. 

“Are you sure?” Poe asks. 

Finn points his head towards the fallen stormtroopers. “We don’t have any other options. No ship, no allies on this planet that we know of.” 

Poe nods, taking in the depth of their situation. He runs towards the _Mutiny,_ climbing in. A minute later he’s back out, communicator in hand. At least now they’ll be able to tell Leia where they are. 

“Are you ready now?” she asks drily. “Or are you going to go off and find another immensely kind stranger who will help you fight off a squad of troopers when you’re immensely outnumbered and unprepared?”

She turns around and begins making her way up the pale grey mountain. Finn turns to Poe and they share a brief moment of disbelief at the biting manner of their savior before following suit. 

There’s a break in the mountains, barely perceptible. She leads them through it, and when Finn and Poe try and squeeze through at the same time, their bodies are barely separated. 

The space opens up to a small cave, the interior dark but aglow with light green lanterns. There’s a pellet on the floor and an aged, rusty footlocker. 

In the center of the space lies an oblong steel object with an opening at the top. Finn watches as Sirene takes a small lighter out of her back pocket, flicks it open, and lights something inside the bowl. Flames arise almost instantly, bathing the cavern in warmth and the flickering light of fire. 

“So. Why are two Resistance fighters in the middle of First Order territory?”

“Our ship crashed. There’s something wrong with the fuel reserves. We ate up way more fuel than we should have.” Finn tells her. 

“You got money to pay for repairs?” she asks. 

“Neither one of us are mechanics. I can do basic maintenance, but I’d need a mechanic to look at something like this.” He wishes Rose was here. 

“Doesn’t matter. When the stormtroopers don’t report back in a few minutes, the First Order will find the bodies and confiscate the ship. Might be they repair it after they do a search, but that won’t help you.” Sirene is obviously well versed in how the First Order operates on Katolino. If she does turn out to be trustworthy, she could be a big help to both Finn and Poe and the Resistance. 

“Sounds like we know what our best bet is.” Poe interjects. 

Finn turns, speaking to Poe. “We wait here, tell Leia what happened, and wait for the Resistance to send a new ship?”

“No. We wait for a while, see if they repair the ship. Then we break into the local base and steal it.”

___________________________________

Hux saunters towards Ben and hands him a holopad on the bridge of the _Finalizer._

“An updated version of the expansion plan with details of current governments and financial states on each of the planets, _Supreme Leader._ We should move in soon and send a message to the despicable Resistance.”

Ben skims through the document. 

“Naboo is bankrupt?”

“The wealth of the New Republic never reached them. Naboo is ripe for the plucking.”

“Send an officer to the planet and meet with the queen. Tell her we’ll pay off the planet’s debts if she surrenders to the First Order.”

“A peaceful surrender? The strength of our empire is its military, sir. We should seize the planet with force-“

“If you undermine me in any way or question my orders again, General, I will not hesitate to bring a swift end to your existence.”

The threat momentarily shuts Hux up. 

He decides to leave the bridge, not wanting to be around Hux a moment longer. On the _Supremacy,_ there had been a small room off a corridor that overlooked the hangar bay. It was a place he could go to be alone, where no troopers or officers or generals would be able to reach him. The _Finalizer_ is significantly smaller than Snoke’s ruling ship had been, but there’s a similar room on it. It’s smaller, but it provides him with the respite he craves. This room is used for storage, the walls lined with black lockers.

Ben doesn’t think he can ever remember a time in his life where he’d been able to truly be alone with his thoughts. Snoke had always been in the back of his mind, seeping into his very being. Now that Snoke is dead, Ben’s thoughts are a thrum of regret and confusion- but they are _his_ thoughts, and the knowledge of that comforts him. Ben wonders how much of the conflict that had plagued him throughout his life was actually just Ben Solo fighting against the darkness Snoke had fed him and how much of it was a war with the two sides of his own self. 

Ben can feel her end of the bond tug on the force within him, then. He turns to face Rey, and what he’s met with is shocking. 

The dark side of the force reverberates off her. He can feel the light inside, but it’s currently buried deep. Tears seep through Rey’s fiery eyes. She doesn’t look present, trapped in the dark side. Ben had wanted her to leave everything behind and rule alongside him, but he hadn’t wanted this. He wants _Rey._ Not a dark, twisted version of who she truly is. He doesn’t know how to pull her out from the darkness, but he’ll try and talk her through whatever she’s feeling. Always. 

“Rey?” he asks.

Her eyes remain trained on the ground and tears are actively spilling down her cheeks, now. 

“What would you have done if I had taken your hand?” she says, almost frenzied. Still not meeting his eyes. 

The question takes him by surprise. He never expected her to ask, and the reminder of the painful memory hits a particularly vulnerable spot. 

“We would’ve announced our usurption. I would’ve taken you away so we could figure out what kind of rulers we wanted to be.”

“Would we have been together?” Her voice is smaller now; some of the fire has died down.

Ben realizes that Rey isn’t referring to physical distance when she says _together._

“Yes.” he says boldly.

“My friends… they were dying.”

“They were.”

The reminder of her friends must be enough to drive her out of her anger. Her body stills its shaking and she inhales deeply, then lets out a long breath. Ben can still feel the dark side of the force flowing through her, but it’s calmed and contained now. 

“I can’t choose between them and you. I couldn’t then and I won’t now.”

“You already have chosen them.” Ben spits.

He slams his energy into the bond, and he isn’t sure if it closes at his will or just happens to fade at the right moment, but Rey isn’t visible anymore, his sense of her dampened. 

_________________________

Later, he’s in his chambers pouring over the First Order expansion plans when an officer pings his communicator. 

“Yes?”

“Supreme Leader, we have updated information on the crashed ship on Katolino. The squadron of stormtroopers was found killed at the site of the crash.”

The information is alarming. “All of them?”

“All of them, sir.”

“Alert the Knights of Ren. I want them on the _Finalizer_ within the next day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day lovelies! Hope you like this one. I know the normal reaction for singletons such as myself is to be sad and lonely on Feb 14th, but I think that's a load of garbage. Don't be sad! Make like me and drink prosecco with the ones you love after uploading a chapter of fanfiction you love writing.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn and Poe need to get off Katolino. We'll find out more about their companion and run into more trouble. This chapter follows only Finn and Poe.

“We’ll break into the local base and steal it.” Poe says brazenly.

“Listen. I dig your rebel attitude and everything, but we need more of a plan. Or did you think we’d just slide on in to the hangar and fly away?”

Poe’s strong suit has never been planning. In the past, his solutions to problems typically included an x-wing or a blaster and not much else. Once, on Ylenia, Poe had told Finn that he’s recently been trying to imagine Leia in his own shoes, facing the same problem. What would she do? What actions would she take?

“Alright. Sirene, have you ever been inside the hangar facility?”

“Once or twice.”

“Do you think you could sneak in, even for a minute? Just to see if they’ve performed repairs?”

“It’s possible, but even if they do fix up the ship it won’t be done for a few days. Guess you’ll be staying with me.” 

She winks at him then, and Finn rolls his eyes. Poe catches him, studying him for a second. 

“Guess so…”

________________________________________

When the sun sets that evening, Finn experiences the cold of the mountains for the first time. It reminds him of Ylenia, of days spent in the elevated lookout spot, of watching Rey and Rose slowly kindle a friendship, of trying to squeeze in as much time with Poe as he could during breaks. 

They’re crowded around the fire, Finn and Poe’s cots made of worn blankets spread out next to each other. Sirene is sharpening a knife, bundled up in a coat with fur peeking out of the hood. 

“You’re not with the Resistance.” Finn says. 

“No.” she responds disinterestedly. 

“Or the First Order.”

“Obviously.”

“And yet you just helped us take out a team of stormtroopers, know how to break into First Order facilities, and are trained in weapons in combat.”

“What’s it to you?”

“I’ve been double-crossed before by someone like you. I’d prefer it if it didn’t happen again. Where’d you learn to fight?”

Sirene lets out a defeated sigh. “Where are you from?”

“If you know who I am, then you know I was a stormtrooper. I have no idea where I’m from.”

She shifts then, sitting up straight and turning to look Finn in the eye. 

“Exactly. After the war, a bunch of old Imperials showed up here. Convinced almost everyone of their twisted ideas about the military and the stormtrooper program. When the time came, people around here were handing their kids over to the First Order. They’d been brainwashed.”

Finn knew the First Order often took babies forcefully when they invaded planets, but voluntary enlistment by parents…he’d heard rumors of things like that, but had never believed it. 

“My father didn’t want that.” Sirene continues. “Didn’t want me to forget my family, forget Katolino. He joined the Guavian Death Gang. We spent years trafficking weapons for those guys.”

Finn’s met some of the gang she’s talking about before, when he was with Han Solo. If she spent years with them, raised among a gang, that explains where she learned to fight so dirty. 

“Why’d you leave?” Poe asks. 

“My dad didn’t. He was shot dead two years ago. Weapon sale gone wrong. 6 other Guavians were killed that day. I decided I didn’t want to die like that. So I left and came back to Katolino. I’ve been here, laying low. Guavians don’t take well to people abandoning them.”

“I’m sorry about your dad.” Finn offers. He often wonders about his parents. He can’t imagine what it would be like to have a parent that you know, that you spend your entire life with, and experience their death. The idea of it is foreign and sad all at once. 

“I came back to Katolino afterward. Hadn’t been here since I was a kid. The First Order was everywhere. That red flag hung up in the middle of the town, stormtroopers swarming through the fields. The mountains are the only place they aren’t crawling all over.”

They sit in silence for a moment, Finn and Poe digesting Sirene’s story. 

“Do you get why I’m telling you this?” she asks in a tone that’s a bit too close to sounding condescending for Finn’s taste. 

“Because I asked you to…literally five minutes ago?” 

“You need to understand no one here is going to help you. They didn’t help me when I got back. They’re all loyalists here. I’m the only person you can trust on Katolino.”

She directs the last bit of her speech at Finn. Sirene seems earnest. Her words tell him she’s a survivor, fighting for herself, but there’s a seed of passion and the urge to help laced in her speech. 

Poe must pick up on it too, because he says to Sirene, 

“You should join us. Come back to the Resistance base.”

“No.” She dismisses it.

“Why not? You don’t like the First Order. I doubt spending every day hiding out in a cave waiting for some way to mess with stormtroopers is much fun.”

“You’d be surprised. I’ve got some really entertaining holodramas for entertainment.” Sirene retorts.

“If you come with us, you’d be under the protection of the Resistance. No more hiding from the Guavian Death Gang. You’d be fighting so no kid is ever betrayed by their planet and given to the First Order again.” Poe sounds every bit the brave, inspiring Resistance pilot he is. 

Her face has lost some of the fearlessness and impartiality that usually paints her expression, allowing a bit of vulnerability to seep through. She opens her mouth as if to say something in retort, but Finn cuts her off.

“I know what it’s like to be afraid to fight because you’re too busy running from your past. And I bet being in a gang isn’t so different from being a stormtrooper. We need good fighters. Fighters who want to stand up for something.”

“I’ll think about it.” She offers. “First we have to figure out how to get off this planet.”

________________________________________

The next day when Finn wakes up, their cave hideout is empty, no sign of Sirene and Poe. The fire has died out, and the only lights entering the cave are the small green lanterns and a bit of golden sunlight peeking through the entrance. 

Finn sits up, alerted. What if Poe has been taken by the First Order? What if Finn was left behind as part of some trap for Sirene? Or maybe…maybe they ran off together and left him behind on purpose. 

That’s when he hears the smack of weapons outside and a grunt that distinctly sounds like Poe. _Oh, no._ Finn thinks, _Poe is getting beat up by stormtroopers and I’m sleeping inside, not doing anything about it._

Finn stands up and runs out into the open air, and that’s when he sees that they haven’t been found by the First Order. 

Poe lies on the ground in obvious defeat, a training staff lying feet away from him as Sirene stands above, staff pointed at his chest, a triumphant smirk on her face. 

“You weren’t lying. You do need help. You’re cute, but you can’t fight for shit.” She says teasingly. 

“What…” Finn starts, calling the attention of Sirene and Poe. 

“Oh. Hey, buddy. Sleep okay? I didn’t. That cave floor is _not_ forgiving.”

“What are you guys doing?”

“Poe choked during the fight because apparently you can be a Resistance hero without ever leaving your cockpit and actually fighting.”

“I asked her if she could teach me a few moves. I don’t want you to ever have to save me like that again.”

Finn had seen Poe trapped in the hold of a stormtrooper, moments from death during the fight a few days ago. He had stepped in without thinking about it, and he would do so again in a heartbeat. The First Order had given him his skill in combat, but he would use it for Poe and for the Resistance for the rest of his life. 

“You know, I could help you too. I was trained as a stormtrooper for almost my entire life. Not completely useless.”

Finn walks over to Poe, then, offering his hand and pulling him up to stand in front of him. Poe clutches his practice staff in his other fist.

“I guess…I guess I hadn’t thought of that.” Poe admits.

“So what’s she taught you?” 

“Excuse me?” 

Finn addresses Sirene then, keeping his eyes locked on Poe’s. “Sirene, how long have you been out here with him?”

“Two hours while you were sleeping like a baby inside.”

“Well.” Finn cracks the bones in his neck, making a satisfying _pop_ sound. 

In a quick move, he stoops to pick up a spare staff, swinging it towards Poe, who meets his blow with his own weapon. There’s an amused look on Poe’s face, but nerves, too- Poe’s pride is important to him. 

Finn advances, throwing his strength into every swing and blow, and although Poe manages to meet every hit, he’s retreating, not able to match Finn’s strength in combat. As Finn raises his staff again, Poe drops to the ground, taking a handful of the earth and snow, thrusting it in Finn’s direction. His eyes close instinctually, and Poe takes advantage of his disorientation, using his staff to strike Finn just hard enough in the gut. He could get up right now, best Poe in this little game, but he decides to stay where he is.

Sirene laughs in amusement as Finn kneels on the ground, accepting defeat. 

“How long were you trained as a stormtrooper for? 20 years? More?” she cackles. 

She can laugh all she wants. Finn looks up and into the eyes of Poe, who he definitely just let win. 

________________________________________

Some days pass, and as the sun sets over the mountains of Katolino, Sirene sets off in a black ensemble, hair tied up in a bun. He knows she probably has an array of weapons strapped to her, but Finn can’t make any of them out for the life of him. The gang must’ve taught her how to hide weapons pretty well. 

“Think she knows what she’s doing?” Finn asks Poe. She might be well-trained, but he knows First Order security inside out.

“I don’t know. But she’s our best shot at getting out of here.”

In the meantime, they take out their communicator and ping Leia. 

“Poe? Finn?” 

“General!” Poe’s voice brightens at the sound of Leia. 

“Where the hell are you? You were supposed to arrive on Terolaas days ago. I thought you had been killed!”

“I know, General. There was a problem with the ship, we crashed on Katolino-“

“Katolino?” Leia interrupts. “I’ve never heard of a Katolino.”

“Outer-rim, First Order territory. We ran into some trouble, but we’re working on getting off the planet as soon as possible.”

“Are you in a secure location?” she asks. 

“As secure as we can get for the moment. If all goes according to plan, we should be off and heading your way in the next day or two.”

“Have you heard anything from Rey?” Finn interjects. He’s not sure how long his friend was planning on being gone for. 

“No. Nothing yet. I don’t know how much longer she’ll be gone…but if she reaches out to you, let me know.”

“I will.” 

________________________________________

Sirene slips back into the cave hideout several hours later, hair still pulled slick back and not looking tired in the slightest. 

“Well?” Finn asks expectantly.

“Ship looks good. Nice and shiny for the Resistance. I don’t know if they fixed whatever it was that made it crash in the first place, but I can take a look at it after we ditch this place.”

“ _We?_ ” Poe inquires. 

“I’m going with you.” She states. “You’re right. This place is boring. And I want to see if the rest of Resistance pilots are as cute as you.” she directs at Poe, before digging into a footlocker and pulling out some food rations.

Finn’s picked up on Sirene’s little flirtations with Poe over the past few days. It irks him. She should be focused on the task at hand, and she only just met Poe. She doesn’t even know him, and…

“What’s the matter with you?” Sirene says. 

“Nothing.”

“You look like you’re ready to punch your fist through the cave wall. We’re about to go break into a First Order hangar! Cheer up.”

“Alright.” Poe interrupts. “When do you want to do it?” 

“Whenever you want.” Sirene says suggestively.

“Seriously.” Finn tries to steer the conversation back in the right direction. 

“I say we move as quickly as possible. We’ve already taken out a unit of stormtroopers. We need to get out of here before they bring in elite fighters. Once they find nothing in the village, they might start looking in the mountains.” Sirene says. 

She pulls out a holopad from the back of her shirt. Finn has no idea where she finds the room to hide all her weapons and the holopad. She pulls up a blueprint of a building that must be the hangar facility. 

“Not much happens on Katolino, so this place isn’t as airtight as other First Order facilities. Normally there’s just a couple guards posted out front, but it could be different now with the all the dead stormtroopers and the whole ‘mysterious crashed ship’ business. They’ve probably gathered by now that you killed those guys in defense, so I doubt they expect us to break in.”

She zooms in on one wing of the building. “There’s sewers underneath the building that’ll get us access to the hangar. We just have to crawl in through the drains, sneak through, stun anyone who gets in our way, get onto the ship before anyone realizes we’re there.”

For a plan that’s not very well thought-out, Sirene sounds pretty confident in herself. Finn’s lived through worse odds before, though, and he’s antsy to rejoin the rest of the Resistance. 

“Alright. We move out tonight.”

________________________________________

Night breaks, and Finn, Poe, and Sirene wade through a nearby lake where the sewer entrance is. It’s large enough for them to stand up, albeit shoulders hunched and knees bent. The trio walk as silently as they can through the light stream on the sewer floor. Sirene leads the pack, followed by Poe and Finn. 

The first time Finn had truly rebelled against the First Order, his heart had been thumping through his chest and he had been awash with fear. His whole life, he had been conditioned to think a certain way, act a certain way. To never rebel. The moment Finn had taken off his helmet, shown his human face to Poe and fled the First Order alongside a Resistance pilot had been the most terrifying and thrilling moment of his existence. 

Every time he’s rebelled against the First Order since then has been a little less terrifying. He’s nervous, yes, but in a natural way. He knows what and whom he fights for. He knows who he is, and that helps Finn through every mission. 

As he’s walking, his foot meets something that’s definitely not the hard ground and whatever it is in the water squirms. Finn lets out a quiet exclamation, but the sound of his voice still alerts his companions. Sirene turns around and shoots him a deathly glare, willing him to be quiet. 

They arrive at the room where the sewers meet under the First Order facility, where water pools in from an array of sewage tunnels and falls down a central pool. There’s a corridor to the left that Sirene leads them towards. She crouches over and cups her hands, offering them to Poe, who puts one foot on top of them, reaching up to lift up a grate on the ceiling, slowly and quietly as possible. He pops his head up, surveying the space it leads into before hauling himself over and into the room above. Finn follows, using the strength in his upper body to haul himself into the room. Sirene lifts her arms up, allowing Finn and Poe to help lift her up. 

They stand in a shower room of some kind, probably near the barracks. The group moves behind a wall in single file, blasters at the ready. Sirene, leading the pack, turns to Finn and Poe. 

“The corridor outside here will lead us to the main hangar. Shifts change in two minutes, so while they’re distracted, we move in and board. Got it?”

“Got it.” Poe says. 

The trio move forward and through the corridor, scanning the hallway to check for any First Order personnel. It’s empty, thankfully, but they move through as carefully as possible all the same. 

As they near the end of the corridor, a stormtrooper in gleaming white uniform approaches, and Finn freezes for a second. Sirene thinks quicker, thankfully, and a bright blue light emits from her blaster, stunning him. She moves forward, catching the trooper’s body as he drops to the floor so as to not make any sound. 

“Should we hide him?” Poe asks.

“No time.” Sirene says before peeking her head through the door leading to the hangar. She moves her hands, ordering them to follow before they all walk into the hangar. 

It’s not as large or pristine as hangar bays on other planets or Star Destroyers, but the facility still possesses the sleek design the First Order favors. The floor is clean white cement and the walls a dark gray. A few TIE fighters are lined up on the edges of the hangar, and at the other end of the space lies the _Mutiny_. It’s been cleaned and there’s almost no evidence of the crash left. Finn assumes they probably plan on converting it for First Order use. 

“How are we supposed to get over there?”

“Well, according to my information, shift is changing in three…two-“

Whatever she’s about to say is cut off by the sound of a large black ship flying into the hangar. This is obviously unexpected, and Sirene’s expression is painted with alarm and surprise. 

“Hide.” She says. 

They duck behind some nearby containers, watching as a First Order officer walks through the space to meet the arriving shuttle. Whoever is on board is important. The design of the ship isn’t unlike Kylo Ren’s personal transport, and the officer looks visibly nervous as she tightens the bun on the back of her head and straightens her collar. 

A ramp lowers and two men walk out of the shuttle. When Finn realizes who it is, his blood runs cold and the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. 

The two are dressed in billowing black fabric, faces covered by intimidating black and silver masks. Finn’s eyes trail to their hips, where lightsabers are hooked onto their belts. He’s seem these fearsome warriors once before, when he had been stationed on the _Supremacy_. The Knights of Ren. 

The officer greets them, and although he can’t hear all of their conversation from this distance, he can make out little bits of their words. 

_The ship was found crashed just east of here…sent a unit….dead….supplies with Resistance symbols_ come from the mouth of the female First Order officer.

_Executed on sight….orders from Supreme Leader Kylo Ren_ come from one of the manufactured, deep voices of the Knights. 

There’s no way they’ll make it out of this hangar alive if they’re discovered, and Finn doubts they’ll be able to make it to the _Mutiny_ with the Knights of Ren here. He turns to Sirene and Poe. 

“We need to leave. Now.”

“What…who is that?” Poe asks.

“I’ll tell you later, but we’ll be dead if we stay a minute more. Let’s get out of here.”

________________________________________________

The journey back to Sirene’s hideout is a hurried frenzy. They encounter two more stormtroopers on the way back to the sewers, and Finn and Sirene each stun one, not bothering to stop and dampen the sound of their falling bodies. As they run through the sewer tunnel that leads back out to the lake, Poe slips, and Finn has to help him back up. When they finally arrive back in the cave, out of breath and scared, Sirene addresses Finn. 

“Who the hell was that?”

“The Knights of Ren. They’re trained by Kylo Ren. They use lightsabers and they’re far more skilled in combat than any of us. We don’t stand a chance.”

“I couldn’t make out everything they were saying.” Poe states.

“I couldn’t either, but I heard that they’ve been ordered by _Supreme Leader_ Kylo Ren to execute us on sight. Forget stealing the _Mutiny_ back. Is there any other way off this planet?”

“Resistance can’t spare any ships, which only leaves…”

“Rey.” Finn finishes. “She has the _Millennium Falcon._ ”

Finn pulls out his communicator and signals Rey. He has no idea if she’ll pick up, and he says silent prayers to whatever powers in the galaxy could help him to possibly reach her.

“Finn?” 

Rey’s voice comes in clear through the communicator, and he can hear the worry in it. He had told her he’d leave her alone to complete her training, but this is an emergency. 

“Rey. We’re in trouble. Poe and I crashed; we’re stuck on this planet. We ran into some trouble.”

“What kind of trouble?” 

“Kylo sent the Knights of Ren. They’ll kill us. We need your help.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks all for reading! I'm doing something a little different the next few chapters as I build up to a big event. Chapter 7 is exclusively from Finn's persepective, and the next few will be exclusively from one character's perspective as well. After that, I'll get back to multiple POV characters in a chapter. I hope you enjoy!!
> 
> I announced on tumblr that my upload schedule will be:  
> -new chapters every Friday  
> -potential extra chapters on Tuesdays
> 
> I'll try my best to stay to this schedule, but be patient with me the next two weeks while I finish up midterms. I'm so stressed out right now, it's crazy. 
> 
> Have a loverly day my fellow Star Wars nerds!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben Solo has to confront his past: both his family and the Knights of Ren. Can he continue up the facade of being the mighty Supreme Leader? Or are the cracks starting to show? He and Rey talk about the first time they met.

Ben hasn’t seen any of his Knights of Ren since before Starkiller Base was destroyed. Since before he met Rey, before they fought each other and then fought together. Last time he saw them, Snoke was still alive and Ben had thought it impossible to be free of his influence. 

If Snoke had called upon the Knights of Ren, he would have met them in the scarlet-walled throne room on the Supremacy. There is no throne room on the _Finalizer,_ but Ben wouldn’t use one even if there were. Snoke had trained Ben by being a constant presence in his mind, speaking to him and nurturing his darkness both in awake and in his dreams. He hadn’t realized how invasive it had been until Snoke had died, and that menacing, cold voice had just…stopped. The moment the lightsaber tore through Snoke’s body, Ben experienced a calm silence within his mind like he never had before. 

He had trained the Knights of Ren a different way, focusing on combat and physical strength in the training room; passing on the lightsaber techniques Luke Skywalker had taught him onto the Knights. He had not been as personal with them, though. In the early days of his Jedi training, Ben’s uncle had given him one-on-one training and sparring sessions. Several of the Knights of Ren had trained at the Jedi academy as well, had turned alongside Ben. They all abandoned their former Jedi selves when they had turned to Snoke’s side, though, taking new names and donning masks to shield their faces, the only remnants of their past life. 

Ben awaits the arrival of the Knights of Ren in the hangar bay of the _Finalizer._ He wears all black, his long cloak billowing behind him as a TIE fighter leaves the hangar. A black shuttle arrives: a modified version of the design of his own transport. Appearances had always been important to Snoke- the ships, the masks- everything. It had all been used to craft a certain image. 

The ramp lowers and the two fearsome Knights of Ren step off, walking towards their master. They look exactly the same as the last time he saw them. Unlike how Kylo Ren will appear to them: unmasked and a bit wild. 

“Master.”

The knight named Calo greets Kylo Ren as they both drop to one knee. His voice is manufactured, unnaturally deep as Kylo Ren’s had once been, when he had worn a mask.

“A crashed Resistance ship was found on the planet Katolino. The squadron of stormtroopers that was sent to investigate was found dead short after their arrival.” He turns, walking through the hangar, and the knights rise, following Kylo. 

“What would you have us do?” 

“If an entire unit of stormtroopers is found dead, then there were either a lot of Resistance on board that ship, or, as I suspect, a few very skilled. I want you to go to the planet immediately investigate.”

“And when we find them?” The knight called Silus asks. 

“I’ll decide what to do when we know exactly who it is. Alert me with every update.”

“Yes sir.”

Ben begins to walk away. 

“Oh, one last thing.” he says, turning his head towards the two Knights of Ren. “General Hux is not to be alerted of any specific orders I gave you.”

Calo visibly stiffens, but says nothing in protest. He gives a curt nod of his head, the silver of his mask gleaming. The two knights begin walking back to their shuttle to depart for Katolino, and as they walk away, another person enters his line of vision. 

She’s still dressed in the warm white outfit she was last time he saw her, when they had argued. She’s looking at him intently. He doesn’t know how long she’s been there. Normally, Ben can feel her the moment the force connects them, but he must have been so distracted by the Knights of Ren that he didn’t notice. 

“You’re keeping secrets from General Hux.” Rey says.

“How long have you been there?” he asks. How much she heard is what he really wants to know. 

“A few seconds. Why, is there something you don’t want me to know?”

“You’re Resistance. There’s a lot that I don’t want you to know.” he says quietly, not wanting anyone to hear him addressing a member of the Resistance. Someone has probably already noticed the Supreme Leader talking to himself, so Ben walks off the hangar, heading towards a small, empty storage room. 

“If you’re keeping secrets from the General you must not be too loyal to the First Order.” she says, nagging him. 

“It’s more complicated than that.”

“How?” 

“It’s not about the First Order, or the Resistance, or any of that.”

“What is it about, then?” Rey sounds close to angry now.

When she asks him this, Ben has to think for a moment before he decides if he wants to tell her. 

“Do you remember on Starkiller base when you looked into my mind?”

There’s a bit of bitterness in her tone when she tells him, 

“Yes. You had just invaded my own.” 

“What did you say to me?” he looks her in the eye, asking her to recall their first meeting. 

“You’re afraid that you will never be as strong as Darth Vader.” she remembers. 

Ben steps closer to Rey, taking a risk by closing some of the distance between them. She watches him cautiously. There isn’t any fear in her eyes, not as there had been the first time they had met. She _knows_ she is his equal now. Rey looks at Ben with caution and care. 

“Did you know that Darth Vader was my grandfather?”

“I’ve heard rumors about Luke and Leia…” she drifts off. 

“They were his children. But my mother never told me. Or my uncle. Snoke told me. When he sensed my darkness, he used it to turn me. I was so angry at my mother for keeping it from me. I began to admire my grandfather. The greatest wielder of the force to ever live. Leader of the galaxy under the Empire.”

“He was twisted and turned by the Emperor, Ben. Just like you were by Snoke.”

“I know that. But I was young, and scared, and conflicted. I didn’t trust Luke because he tried to kill me. I didn’t trust my mother because she lied to me. The myth of my grandfather…he was my entire purpose. Continuing Darth Vader’s legacy.”

“Do you still feel that way?”

“I don’t know. Not like I used to. Not since I met you.” Ben admits. 

“But you’re still staying with the First Order.” she says sadly. 

“You didn’t give me a choice. Not really” he tells her. 

_________________________________________

General Hux approaches him later that day, catching him in a hallway on the _Finalizer._

“Have you taken care of the situation on Katolino?”

“Two of the Knights of Ren have been dispatched to the planet.”

“And if they find the Resistance? I trust you’ll take care of it? Supreme Leader?” 

The way Hux says _Supreme Leader_ is almost mocking. Ben doesn’t care for it.

“I’ve dispatched the Knights of Ren, General. You’re not privy to any more information.”

Hux steps close to him then, and if he wasn’t such a thorn in Ben’s side, he could almost admire him for his brazenness. 

“If you fail to crush the Resistance again, I will find a way to rid of you. I _know_ who you are. You’re going to need to prove that your family–“

Hux’s words are cut off by the grip of the force tightening around his throat. Ben lifts him up off the ground and into the air, then drops him suddenly, releasing his hold on the general. 

Kylo Ren says nothing more, walking away and leaving Hux to let the Supreme Leader’s actions speak for themselves. Although Hux doesn’t have the power of the Force like Ben does, he could potentially cause a lot of trouble for Ben. If Hux could ever hold sway over the army of the First Order, then it wouldn’t matter how well Ben could command the force with an entire army standing against him. He has to keep a close eye on the General.  
___________________________________

The last time Ben saw Rey, she was still dressed for the cold of Ilum, which means the _Falcon_ can’t be on Katolino. But what else would a Corellian freighter be? Is it some kind of lure by the Resistance? And if the ship was crashed, surely they didn’t end up in such a visible position on purpose. Ben wonders what the chances are that the Resistance could’ve accidentally ended up on the same planet their hero, Rey’s friend who now goes by Finn, was born. There isn’t any way they could’ve been privy to that kind of classified information…but it still strikes him as odd. Ben doubts that if this Finn knew the whole truth of his birth he’d want to go back to his home planet. Perhaps if he knew, then Finn wouldn’t judge Kylo Ren so harshly for his own resentment towards his family. 

He reads over information on the stormtrooper program. Ben had been aware of tactics used in the program in the past, but now that he’s Supreme Leader, he has access to the truth of the stormtroopers’ lives like he never has before. Manipulated from birth, identity erased. Stormtroopers are punished if they form too close of connections with each other, even if they don’t realize they’re being punished. It saddens him, which makes him realize that he hadn’t always felt sad for the stormtroopers, or in fact felt anything at all for them. What changed?

He gets a ping on his communicator from Silus, and a holographic blue image of the Knight of Ren emits from the comm.

“Have you found anything?”

“Sir, we inspected the crash. Resistance branded clothing and supplies were all over. There’s no doubt in our minds that there are Resistance scum here.”

“Do you know how many?”

“Not yet. We’re asking around with the locals. We should know by the end of the day, I expect.”

“If you find out any specific names, please tell me.”

“Yes sir.”

The hologram fades, and Ben is left with nothing but his own thoughts and the burning curiosity of the Resistance on Katolino, and how much _she_ knows. 

_________________________________________

_You’re afraid that you will never be as strong as Darth Vader._ The words from him and Rey’s past ring through Ben Solo’s ears. 

Before he had met her, before he had killed Snoke and become Supreme Leader, he used to speak to his grandfather each time he meditated. Shared his aspirations, his conflict, and his anger. The ghost of Darth Vader was the most important person in his life. Snoke spent years cultivating the image of the Heir of Vader in Kylo Ren, and so Ben Solo thought that it was surely the thing he should care about most. Darth Vader was his family. 

His mother, his father, and his uncle had all failed Ben Solo. Perhaps Darth Vader wouldn’t fail Kylo Ren. But after he had killed…killed his father, he couldn’t bear to face the relic of his grandfather. 

After Rey had reminded him of what Darth Vader had meant to him, how afraid he had been of not living up to his grandfather’s legacy…he finally feels ready to face this part of himself.

Ben’s meditation room on the _Finalizer_ remains, a simple two-sided seat in the center of the black-walled room. The charred mask of Darth Vader sits on one side, its hollow glare looking up at its owner’s grandson. 

Ben takes a seat. This used to feel so important, so vital to his sanity, these discussions with his grandfather. Now he thinks that he had just missed his family, and was aching to speak with someone, anyone, that he was related to. 

“Grandfather.”

Ben takes a breath.

“I killed my father. I-“ 

The admission of his crime brings him to tears, and flashes of a gleaming red lightsaber tearing through the chest of a man he loved flit through Ben Solo’s mind. Han’s hand turning the lightsaber towards his body, the final stroke he had laid across the face of his son. Ben hadn’t seen any anger or betrayal in the eyes of his father as he had died. Just sadness and love.

“I see his face everyday. I can’t ever- I can’t ever take that back. I thought taking power would bring me some kind of purpose but it doesn’t. I feel nothing. I assume you felt the same way. I know you turned, in the end. That Luke helped you. You must have seen the faces of the Jedi you killed in your mind every time you knelt before the Emperor. You must have been very sad.”

When Ben thinks of the times he hadn’t been in anguish in his life, of times he felt happiness, he can’t remember very many moments. A few, from his childhood. Memories of his mother’s embrace and his father letting him sit in the captain’s chair of the _Millennium Falcon._ When Rey had told him that he wasn’t alone. The glorious feeling of Snoke’s influence being severed from his person as the lightsaber tore through the body of his former master. 

Darth Vader hadn’t brought him fulfillment in the past, and he wouldn’t now, either. He rises from his seat, takes one last look at the mask of the Sith, and leaves the meditation room. It’s time to let the past die.

_________________________________________

“Master, we have news.”

“Yes?”

A Katolinian saw two Resistance in the local village shortly before news of the crash was made public. They claim to be able to identify the Resistance.”

“Who is it?”

“Poe Dameron and the former stormtrooper FN-2187.”

FN-2187. That’s Rey’s friend. Perhaps…perhaps he can use this to his advantage. If she saw him in person, if they could really speak-

“No ships have been reported to leave the planet. They’re still somewhere on Katolino.” Ben says.

“Sir, we do believe they could be hiding in the mountains. The First Order has not yet searched there, perhaps if you could send a snowtrooper unit, we could take care of these rebels immediately. There’s no need to drag it out. We should execute them on sight.”

“Don’t do that. Find out exactly where they are, then pull out.”

“Excuse me?”

“I believe you heard me. When you find their location, alert me and then pull out. I’ll take care of them myself.”

“Master, I know you have a personal history with some members of the Resistance, but we shouldn’t delay. If we can kill them, we should.”

“We will. I’ll take care of this myself. And be sure to make your presence known to them. Remind the Resistance of the Knights of Ren.”

Silas hesitates, turning to someone who Ben assumes is Calo but isn’t visible on the comm projection. 

“As you wish.”  
_________________________________________

When the location of Dameron and FN-2187 is discovered, Ben is alerted. He readies his TIE fighter himself, not wanting Hux to be aware of his plans. The journey to Katolino will take a bit longer than ideal from the current position of the _Finalizer_ in deep space, but Ben has made his decision. He only hopes he’s manipulated his plans well enough, that everything goes as he wants it to. He wants to see Rey, to remind her of why they should’ve left together after the throne room.

He dons his hooded cape and makes for the hangar of the _Finalizer_ , heading towards his fighter. Ben has always preferred the size of his personal shuttle, enjoys piloting that ship more, but the TIE is smaller and faster, and won’t draw as much attention to General Hux, unaware of Ben’s orders to the Knights of Ren. 

Ben Solo punches in the coordinates of his destination and takes off from the hangar bay of the _Finalizer,_ launching into hyperspace and towards whatever awaits him on the surface of Katolino.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so so much for reading. If you like what you've read so far, please share with your fellow Star Wars nerds. And come hang out with me on tumblr where I basically live! My url is fionaconnix :)
> 
> This chapter was definitely more challenging to write because I know Ben is so conflicted about his decisions in TFA and TLJ, and I hope I got that regret and confusion across here. This is the last week I'll post late chapters, I promise! My exams are almost finished, so expect chapter 9 friday or Saturday at the latest. 
> 
> Have a lovely lovely day everyone!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey races off to Katolino to save her friends as Ben Solo arrives on the planet. What happens when they see each other in person again for the first time since the Supremacy?

Rey is in the caves of Ilum practicing with her lightsaber when she receives a ping on her comm from Finn. The buzzing of the little device alerts her, taking her out of the trance that the swooshing, electric sounds of her lightsaber draw her into. She takes it out of her back pocket. Although she had told herself she would go into isolation while training (as Luke had when he had made his own lightsaber), Rey knows her friend wouldn’t comm her unless it was an emergency.

“Finn?”

“Rey. We’re in trouble. Poe and I crashed; we’re stuck on this planet. We ran into…some trouble.” he repeats.

“What kind of trouble?” she asks, cautiously. 

“Kylo sent the Knights of Ren. We need your help. I’m scared.”

Finn’s voice is panicked. A hot flare of anger rises in Rey’s belly. Perhaps…perhaps this is what she had overheard Ben saying the other day, as he had been ordering someone to keep a secret from General Hux. Perhaps he had been ordering the death of her friends. The air around her turns hot as the force flows from Rey, dark with both anger at Kylo Ren and a fierce devotion to her friends. 

“Where are you?” she asks Finn. 

“Katolino. It’s in the outer rim, First Order territory. I can send you the coordinates, but Rey–“

“Yes?”

“You have to be careful. There’s two of them at least, and who knows if the rest of the First Order is aware we’re here.”

“I’ll be careful.” She promises. Although the sound of fighting the Knights of Ren just to prove a point to Kylo is tempting right now, the Resistance can’t afford risking its best pilot, a Jedi, and one of its greatest heroes. 

She puts out her lightsaber, hooking it back onto its clip on her belt, and exits the caves, making for the _Millennium Falcon._

_________________________

Rey settles into the now-familiar worn leather captain’s chair in the cockpit of Han’s old ship, punching in the coordinates Finn gave her and watching as the lights of the console color the cockpit with hues of blue and red. She lifts the ship off the air, flying towards the sky and away from Ilum. Rey says a silent goodbye to the planet that gave her strength and a weapon as she accelerates to lightspeed, the stars ahead of her stretching before the blue image of hyperspace surrounds the _Falcon._  
_________________________

Rain begins to _pitter-patter_ on the window of the _Millennium Falcon_ as Rey comes in closer to the surface of Katolino. Droplets fall down from dark grey clouds in the sky, pouring down onto the lush green surface of the planet. Even in the stormy darkness of the night, though, Rey can make out a great mountain range, and brings the ship closer to the ground, saying a silent prayer that the First Order doesn’t notice the _Falcon._ A flicker of light flashes from the mountains twice, and Rey catches it out of the corner of her eye. She flies in towards the signal, flying the _Falcon_ as close to the ground as she can before landing and making her way out of the ship. 

She makes her ways towards where she thinks the light came from, focusing on Finn’s force signature more than anything. The journey up the mountain is trying; the ground is slick from the rain and droplets fall down her face, obscuring her vision. When she comes to a clearing, she calls for her friend. 

“Finn?”

A figure creeps out of an opening in the mountain she hadn’t noticed, and Finn’s kind and familiar face comes into view. He leads her through the opening, into a cave dwelling lit a dull green by lanterns. Makeshift cots and storage bins are scattered on the floor. Poe Dameron watches as Finn and Rey share a warm hug, and an unfamiliar blonde woman keeps her eyes trained on Rey. 

“Who’s that?” she whispers to Finn. 

Finn lets out a sigh and turns to the woman. “This is Sirene Colto. She’s been hiding Poe and I the past few days.”

“Don’t forget the part where I saved you from certain death.” Sirene says drily. 

“And she also helped us with a...uh…encounter we had with some stormtroopers.” Finn offers. 

“Your friends would’ve died if I hadn’t showed up. They were getting their asses handed to them.” she tells Rey. 

Rey’s always appreciated women who can defend themselves. 

“Well, I’m glad you’re all safe. Are you Resistance?” Rey asks the blonde. 

Poe interjects. “We’re working on making her Resistance. She’s coming with us.”

“Speaking of that, we need to get out of here as soon as possible. I didn’t like the look of those…what were they called again?”

“Knights of Ren.” Poe reminds her.

“Right. I didn’t like them, or their flowy clothes, or their creepy masks, or their glowy weapons. Is your ship ready, flygirl?”

Rey raises her eyebrows at the nickname. Sirene probably assumes she’s a Resistance pilot since she has a ship. When this woman learns that Rey is actually a Jedi, her eyes will probably pop out of her head. 

“It’s ready. Do you have anything you need to load onto it?”

“All my weapons are on my person. Are you ready, boys?” Sirene calls to Finn and Poe.

“I’ve been ready to leave since we crashed on this rock.” Rey hears Finn mumble under his breath. 

“We need to be careful. Even if you landed as carefully as humanly possible, there’s a chance the First Order could’ve picked up the _Falcon_ on their scanners.” Poe says. 

“The _Falcon?_ We’re flying _The Millennium Falcon?_ ” Sirene inquires excitedly. 

Rey nods her head.

“I haven’t seen that ship in years! Brings back memories. I remember meeting that ridiculous smuggler for the first time like it was yesterday.”

 _That ridiculous smuggler_ must be Han, and Rey is curious about Finn and Poe’s new companion and how she could’ve possibly met the galaxy-famous pilot, but she should really focus on the task at hand: escaping the planet without being detected by the Knights of Ren. 

“How did you find out they were here?” Rey asks Finn. 

“Originally, we were going to steal back our old ship. When we broke into the base, they were landing. I couldn’t overhear much, but from what I got, they’re supposed to execute us on sight. Their orders come from Kylo Ren himself. “

Rey is hit with a pang of betrayal. Ben…ordering the murder of her friends. She’s hurt and angry as Finn describes how the Knights have pursued them the past few days, barely escaping detection. How scared he’s been. The anger translates into the force within Rey, and she can feel the darkness within her as she had the other day, when Ben had talked her down from it, only now _he_ is the focus of the anger. She has the urge to scream at him, to hurt him as he has her.  
________________________

The journey to Katolino is uneventful, but Ben occupies himself with the comfort of flying the TIE fighter. He goes over his plan again in his head. He’ll find the Resistance pilot and FN-2187, convince them to bring Rey to him. He could see her again in person. Their conversations through the force are always loaded with tension and inconvenience, but if they were face-to-face, Ben might really be able to talk to her. Try again at what he had tried to say to her on the _Supremacy_ in the aftermath of their battle with the Praetorian Guards. This time he would be more personal. He would be better. 

Maybe she’d even be _on_ Katolino. After the show he had Silas and Calo put on– flying their ship in circles over the mountain hideout they had discovered, projecting the First Order insignia in the sky, sparring with their lightsabers near the mountains– Ben wouldn’t be surprised if the two Resistance fighters enlisted the help of their Jedi friend. 

The landscape of Katolino comes into view. It’s just as Silas had described in one of his reports to Ben. Even in the dark of evening on Katolino, he can make out green fields and bright lakes broken up by the jagged surface of the mountains. Heavy rain comes down, and Ben has to switch on the drying mechanism of his TIE fighter so he can see clearly. As he brings his TIE closer to the mountains, he can see a white ship on the surface of the planet. 

When Ben realizes what ship it is, his heart stops. His father’s junky old freighter. The ship that had both been a second home to him in childhood and the symbol of every way Han Solo had failed as a father. 

Han Solo isn’t the captain of the _Millennium Falcon_ anymore, though. The ship was passed down to a new captain after he died: Rey. Which means if the _Falcon_ is here, Rey is here. Ben’s heart starts thumping, feeling almost like it could burst out of his chest. He brings his fighter in to land, somewhat well-hidden from the view of the _Falcon_ behind a smaller hill. He climbs out of the ship and as he steps on to the surface of the planet, water droplets fall down his face. He hasn’t felt rain in a long time. The closest he’s gotten to rain recently had been during a force connection with Rey. Whatever planet she had been on must’ve had rain, because he had felt its wetness on his face. 

From a distance, he spots a group of figures making their way down the mountain, then running towards the _Falcon._ Ben heads towards them, eventually getting close enough to make out the only person in the group he actually cares about. Every plan he had made, everything he was going to say to her, leaves his head. He sees only her. He wants to hold her, like she had let him when she was on Ilum, to convince her to be with him and to leave together.

“Rey!” he calls out to her.  
_______________________

“Rey!”

It’s not one of the Knights of Ren who calls her name as Rey races towards the _Falcon_ alongside Finn and Poe. She would know this voice anywhere, this voice that was once so dear and now lights a flame of anger within her. Without thinking, she turns around, facing him. 

“Kylo.”

Calling him by the name that isn’t his true name wounds Ben, and even from far away, she can see his body jolt with sudden hurt. Rey doesn’t care right now, though. Not now that he ruthlessly pursued Finn. She sprints towards him, vision colored with hazy anger. Her hand reaches back, unhooking her weapon from her belt. She presses her thumb flush to the silver hilt, and the lightsaber ignites, casting the blue and white light of the blades on her face. 

Ben steps back, watching intently in both fear and wonder as his eyes set on her newly forged lightsaber. Rey is fast approaching, and Ben makes no moves to ignite his own weapon, and in the back of her mind she begins to fear for him, hoping that he won’t make it easy to hurt him in the frenzy of her anger. Now he’s not but two feet in front of her, and Rey sees realization bloom in Ben’s eyes as he fumbles for his saber, lighting the crimson blade just in time as she hurls her own back, preparing to strike him. 

Rey throws her blade against his own, again and again, feeling pain at every strike; hurt from fighting someone she cares for. She can feel hot tears running down her face. 

“Rey, no.” His voice is labored with heavy breath, but not angry or hostile. He’s pleading with her.

“You-you—“ She wants to say something, anything to him, but Rey isn’t able to work through the knot of her emotions in the heat of the moment, finding the words lodged in her throat.  
_________________________

Rey haphazardly raises her lightsaber again, but her arm is falling limp and tears cloud her vision. Ben takes the opportunity her hesitation provides, catching the wrist that holds her lightsaber. 

“Ben…” she chokes on a sob.

Her eyes pour into his own, and he can read the confusion and hurt that’s there. He wants to take away the pain. She’s not the only one confused beyond measure at this rare connection they have. He’s can’t wrap his head around the fact that the woman who should be his enemy is the one who sees him and understands him better than any other, either. If she would accept him, go away with him, he would make it his mission everyday to take away the pain that caring for him brings her. He’d try to make it easy. 

Rey looks at him expectantly, a question in her eyes. _Will you fight me, or let me free?_

Ben answers her unspoken question by hastily leaning forward, closing the distance between them and pressing his lips against her own. 

Ben’s hand moves from her wrist to the top of her hand, sheathing her lightsaber. His other hand snakes around her waist, drawing her closer to him. Her mouth softens against his, and even though he knows she’s angry with him beyond measure, Rey leans her body closer to Ben Solo’s. She opens her lips to him, allowing Ben to slip in his tongue, caressing and exploring the inside of her mouth, writing his devotion in the kiss. Tears and rain run down her cheeks, and Ben brings a hand up to her face to wipe them away. Her hands move up his chest and settle on either shoulder.  
_____________________

Lightning cracks above, and Rey is drawn out of the trance of their kiss, remembering the cause of her presence on this foreign planet. She steps back and turns to glance back at her friends and the _Falcon_ in the distance. Rey will defend them until it kills her, but Ben…

She doesn’t know what to do about Ben now. She has no idea why he’s here, why he would have the courage to kiss her knowing what fate he had ordered for her friends. But she doesn’t hate him. Rey’s emotions towards him mix and churn, a ball of confusion in her mind made up of anger, longing, and need.

“Why Katolino?” Ben says, watching her as she watches Finn and Poe. “Does he know?”

“What are you talking about?” Rey asks. _Does who know what?_

“FN-2187. Does he know where he comes from?”

“His name is Finn. And I don’t know what you mean.”

“ _Finn_ comes from Katolino. You might want to reconsider the odds that he crashed here.” Ben says, putting a mocking emphasis on _crashed._ Is he suggesting Finn would lie to her?

“Why would you send those…those lackeys of yours to kill them? How am I supposed to believe you care for me when you try to murder my friends, Ben?”

“I didn’t order the Knights of Ren to kill them. They were told to find their location and pull from the planet.”

“That’s not what Finn heard them say.”

His head turns to the side abruptly, and she can sense the dissatisfaction and anger in his expression. Maybe he’s telling the truth. Maybe there really isn’t anyone he can trust in the cold, power-hungry environment of the First Order. 

Rey looks down at her weapon, unsure of what to do with it. She no longer wants to injure Ben, as she had not minutes ago. In the darkness of the night and the cover the rain provides, it’s likely the others couldn’t see the kiss she and Ben had just shared. The absence of the swinging lights of clashing lightsabers will most likely be noted, though. 

“They haven’t seen anything,” he tells her. 

Rey can read his emotions and the basis of his thoughts through their Force connection. She can feel what he wants her to do. Her breath hitches.

“Ben…”

“Do it.”

Their eyes remain trained on each other as Rey draws her lightsaber up in front of her chest, reigniting the blade and swinging it towards him. The white-hot lightsaber skims the surface of his chest, wounding Ben enough to make it appear like she defended herself, but not so much to seriously injure him. He gives a short cry of pain. As he takes a staggering step back, she turns, leaving Kylo Ren behind as she makes for the _Falcon._  
_________________________

“Kylo Ren…” Poe starts in fear as Rey approaches the two of them. 

“Where are the Knights?” Finn inquires. 

“I don’t know.” Rey tells him. “We need to get out of here.” 

She runs up the ramp of the ship, the others following behind her. Poe joins her in the cockpit of the _Falcon,_ and they hastily flick the buttons on the console, powering up the ship. Rey has been lacking a copilot since she left the Resistance behind on Terolaas, but she hadn’t realized how much she truly missed the company and help. 

The Falcon jerks off the ground, and Rey hears someone lose their balance and fall behind her. Sirene shouts out a particularly offensive curse word.

“Hold on!” Rey calls out. 

“To what?” Sirene shouts back.

Poe grasps the hyperdrive accelerator and jolts them into the stars, leaving the green surface of Katolino behind. 

Once they’re in the safe environment of lightspeed travel, Rey sinks back into the captain’s chair, letting out a deep sigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a while to write. I hope you guys enjoy!  
> I took a little vacation from writing to enjoy Spring Break, but almost immediately after returning got sick. I've been in bed the past week stuffy and sneezing, living off soup and rewatching Merlin. So sorry for the massive delay in posting.  
> Come hang out with me on tumblr! My url is fionaconnix - and my ask is always open. I love talking to fellow Star Wars geeks :)


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